Dr Patchwork and Mr Clank
by 8-bit thief
Summary: Two great men, pioneers in their respective fields, work and live together atop a floating fortress and further the capabilities of mankind, or whatever they really want to do. Join us as we read about their various adventures and shenanigans. co-authored with themadDrPatchwork.
1. Prologue

Let us begin a most wondrous tale of two great men, men of science, whose accomplishments and discoveries have advanced humanity beyond its wildest dreams. Let us begin the tale, of Dr. Patchwork and Mr. Clank. This tale begins, as all do, at their home, atop a floating fortress. Here, Dr.- "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

The narrator, a rather nondescript man that even the greatest memorizer would have a hard time remembering, turns around to see two men staring at him. One is wearing a red labcoat with black hair tied in a short ponytail at the back and a robotic right arm from the elbow down. The other is rather lanky and is wearing a stitched and somewhat bloodied cross between a labcoat and doctor's outfit, his short dark brown hair fluttering in the breeze. The narrator blinks for a moment before the first person asks, a little mad, "I will ask only once more, who are you and what are you doing on our land?"

The Narrator seems to beam at that and responds. "Why Mr. Clank, I am here because I am beginning the tale of your life for whoever wishes to know."

The now named Mr. Clank seems to look at the narrator for a moment, before his robotic arm seems to pull a nodachi **(1)** from nowhere which is then held towards the narrator's neck. "Yeah no, there will be none of that." Mr. Clank, or Ratchet **(2)** as he normally goes by, glares towards the narrator. The narrator looks to the other man, who could only be Dr. Patchwork, but he only shakes his head as if to say 'you brought this on yourself'. The narrator gulps before turning back to Ratchet.

"Now Ratchet, let's not do anything hasty," the narrator seems to speak with a slight panic. "I am, after all, just a manifestation of the fourth wall to act as a narrator. Attacking me, why that would be madness on the level of Deadpool!". Ratchet lowers the nodachi and the narrator begins to relax before Patchwork finally speaks up. "You've done it now."

The narrator turns to Patchwork. "What do you mean by tha- "Madness you say?". Once again the narrator is cut off by Ratchet, and upon turning to face him, sees an almost evil gleam in Ratchet's brown eyes. "Madness? No, this is not madness. THIS, IS, MY HOME!" Ratchet, after saying this, kicks the narrator off the floating fortress they stood upon in true 300 fashion, while Patchwork looks on in exasperation.

"Did you really need to do that? Really?" Patchwork turns towards Ratchet as he asks. Ratchet looks to Patchwork before replying "Of course I needed to, don't you know how I am? Besides, if what he said was true he'll be fine". Patchwork pinches the bridge of his nose before saying "Yes, unfortunately I do know you, now come on, this 'intruder' took up enough time already and you know how Alice gets if breakfast isn't ready by the time she is."

Both men shiver as if from some terrible memory before heading inside the large fortress-like complex atop the floating island to continue their day.

 **AN: Wow, haha finally, my first TRUE fanfic! *celebrates* Anyhow, this is not really based from any form of media but will have aspects and references to many. This is also not a self-insert though the characters do share some characteristics of their creators. This was an idea I made with a friend of mine and this is my first attempt at writing it down. This story will be updated rather sporadically, due to both me and my friend's rather slow construction of the story and my own procrastination. I am no writer, and don't know the rules of literature, especially when it comes to speaking in works, so any constructive feedback is welcome. Now, onto the marked references.**

 **(1)A nodachi, or odachi, I can never remember the difference, is a class of katana used in either mounted combat or against mounted troops, I can't remember, and are rather unwieldy for those not trained in it. For a visual idea, think of Sephiroth's Masamune.**

 **(2)Yes, Ratchet is his first name and yes, it's a reference to the game series Ratchet and Clank, with his full name being Mr. Ratchet N. Clank.**

 **I cannot wait to write more on this and I hope to gain some followers throughout this story. Now this AN is getting a little long so I will just end things. Ja Ne.**


	2. INTRO ARC chapter 1

**8-bit thief: Hey everyone, It's me, 8-bit thief and my friend , here with the next installment of Dr. Patchwork and Mr. Clank! We are going to start detailing our character's lives and a couple additions before we start getting into the FUN stuff.**

 **themadDrPatchwork: No, bad thief, leave the perverseness out. Anyway I wanted to thank everyone involved with the creation of this story and also to thank the creators of the inspirations for this idea. *Both bow politely. Thank You For Your support.**

 **8-bit thief: I didn't mean THAT kind of fun! Anyway, shall we get the disclaimer out of the way?**

 **themadDrPatchwork: Of course we shall.**

 **Together: WE DO NOT OWN ANYTHING REFERENCED IN THIS FICTIONAL WORK ACCEPT OUR OWN ORIGINAL CHARACTERS!**

Ratchet sat at the head of a long table, taking a screwdriver to his metal arm, which was connected to a computer running multiple separate programs. Suddenly a loud thumping came from above before a young girl came down the stairs and into the room. She was 12 years old and had short blond hair in a straight cut with a simple blue dress. She quickly shifted into a chair along the table before looking expectantly at Ratchet. "Is breakfast ready yet?" she asks impatiently.

Ratchet smiles for a moment before replying. "Patchwork is putting the finishing touches on it as we speak Alice." Alice smiles before a small frown appears on her face. "Did you make any of it?" Ratchet develops a small rain cloud of gloom over his head. "I'm not that bad at cooking." A small laugh echoes as Patchwork enters from the kitchen carrying an array of dishes, from bacon and eggs to cereal to steak. "Ratchet, we are still looking for that spaghetti monster you made last month." Ratchet blanched at the mention of that incident. As the three had learned, outside of family recipes, Ratchet botched ANY form of cooking possible in the most bizarre ways.

The three begin to eat while Ratchet lets the computer run its programs before turning to Alice. "Alice, have you gotten any further on accessing your hammerspace?" Alice was originally a ward of an orphanage. Dr. Patchwork and Mr. Clank visited when strange occurrences were reported happening around Alice, specifically things disappearing and reappearing when she was feeling strong emotions. The two adopted her to avoid her being made into a government tool upon realizing she was capable of accessing hammerspace, a fictional dimension used by animators to explain characters carrying objects that they could not have had on their person realistically. Ratchet specifically worked on learning how she did so in order to replicate the ability and train her to access it on command and instantly.

"I'm still having difficulty summoning large items, but I can grab my mallet instantly." Alice smiles at the small shiver that runs through Ratchet's body, who had personally experienced how hard she can hit with her mallet. The three finish their breakfasts before cleaning up. Ratchet disconnects the computer from his arm before screwing the removed panel shut and began working out any kinks in the gears. "Jenova (1), what's the schedule for today?" A computer monitor drops from the ceiling before a daily calendar appears. A somewhat feminine robotic voice echoes from the speakers. "There is a 1:00 hearing with the UN to inform them of your experiments, followed by some algorithm tests on the dimensional transporter." Patchwork and Ratchet sigh at the mention of the UN meeting. Their experiments frequently delved towards the… 'dangerous' side of things, and they were required to update the UN monthly on their experiments or risk being targeted by every army on earth as a threat, not that they couldn't hold the various armies off with ease.

"As much as I dislike listening to them complain and argue, we can't exactly avoid this meeting. I'll just think about my upcoming progress on my dimension hopping. Any potential leads?" Ratchet asks the monitor as he heads upstairs. A smaller monitor appears from the wall and follows him. "Recent calculations lead to potential coordinates for the UT universe." Ratchet smiles before entering his room. "Excellent. Input them into the machine and run the standard safety tests." The monitor sinks back into the wall after replying "Yes sir."

 **Narrator: What is the UT Universe, what is this mysterious machine, and what exactly is in store for our heroes, find out next time on-*stabbed by scalpels* Aughhhhh!**

 **themadDrPatchwork: How the hell do you keep trespassing? Oh well, hey Thief, got a test subject for ya.**

 **8-bit thief: Excellent. Jenova needed a live subject for the safety tests. *tosses narrator into the dimensional portal***

 **Narrator: I WILL HAVE MY REVENGEEEEEEEEEE** **EEEEEEE** **EEEEEEEEEEEE** ***disappears into portal***

 **8-bit thief: Well, with that taken care of, let's get on to the marked references.**

 **(1)Jenova is based on the villain of FFVII in NAME ONLY and is the third AI made by Ratchet to help run the island. The other two will be revealed later.**

 **Together: SEE YOU ALL SOON IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OF DR. PATCHWORK AND MR. CLANK! JA NE!**


	3. INTRO ARC chapter 2

**8-bit Thief: Welcome back everyone to the next installment of Dr. Patchwork and Mr. Clank! Today I have a fun little fact for you all before we begin. This chapter you are about to read was mostly written by my magnificent partner, themadDrPatchwork, as opposed to myself! Give him a round of applause!**

 **themadDrPatchwork: *bows to audience* Thank you all for the continued support you give our story. Also, I wish to remind you that we are not averse to advice and/or helpful criticism, as we are both new to story publishing. But please, no flames.**

 **8-bit Thief: Yes, any flames will be ignored should they have no helpful advice whatsoever. Anyhow, let's begin!**

In the confines of darkness in one of the magnificent floating fortress's attics, specifically the one storing preserved food, a gateway of darkness was gathering. Soon the occupants of the fortress would know the dread and the horror brought upon them by the…

"Narrator!" screams the man who climbs out of the gateway gasping in strides at the perpetual hell that the two men had placed him into. The man clearly did not look like he was having a good time. Grumbling he slowly walked down the stairs to the second floor of the fortress, all the while rambling of his promises to do unspeakable things to them… as soon as he could figure out where the heck he was in the crummy fortress.

 **Meanwhile inside of the control room for the flying fortress.**

Dr. Patchwork was sighing as he sipped from his green tea, unfortunately for him on days like this he was especially stressful. He was in a dilemma, today was the day that they were supposed to report their recent experiments to the UN, but the two scientists made it so that they themselves were in a pickle. If he left Ratchet in the castle then he would no doubt go rummaging through his experiments, or worse try his hands at some genetic modifications… and he did not want a repeat of what happened last time the UN meeting was held in japan. Where did Ratchet even get access to a giant squid? He is still suffering lawsuits that some of his attempts caused in some female only bathhouses. However, the reverse could also ensue in which Clank left for the UN meeting alone… and last time that happened he somehow managed to earn over a hundred different restraining orders from all of the wives and daughters of the foreign dignitaries, as well as all the female dignitaries (The Swedish prime minister had slapped Patchwork so brutally that it even still haunts him to this day, and he was only trying to apologize for Ratchet's mess!). Of course, going together would be equally as bad, as last time they left Alice alone in the fortress she accidently blew up half of it over a third world country, and the inhabitants thought it was a vengeful god delivering divine wraith upon them and most of them went absolutely bonkers. No, sending Ratchet alone was the lesser of all evils. He just had to hope nothing… bad happened. All of a sudden Patchwork had a bad feeling that something strange was about to happen.

 **Meanwhile one floor above**

The narrator was currently walking down the hallway opening each door he passed in hopes of locating either of the two scientists when he did something extremely dangerous. He opened the next door only to come face to face with Alice in a bath robe drying her hair. The two stared at one another before the narrator calmly shut the door and began to walk away. However, five seconds after the door shut, it was abruptly lodged into the opposite wall by a rather large mallet, one that Alice immediately grabbed and began to chase after the now running narrator, who continuously dodged the mallet being thrown at him.

Dr. Patchwork looked up towards the ceiling, wondering where the sounds of smashing was coming from. He then turned upon hearing the sound of running from the stairs, only to see the narrator, looking rather haggard, heading towards him while looking back. Immediately after Alice dropped from the stairs and flung her mallet towards the narrator. The narrator immediately ducked, only to turn at the sound of metal meeting flesh. Alice and the narrator looked in horror at the unconscious form of Dr. Patchwork lying across the damaged control console. The two then looked at each other as the alarms blared, signaling the fortress was going into an uncontrolled descent, or in other words, hurtling towards the Earth below.

The narrator then turned as a black portal identical to the one he exited earlier appeared. "That unholy void Ratchet chucked me into is better than this! Good luck surviving young Alice, because I am out of here!". The narrator promptly jumped through the portal, which immediately sealed itself as Alice tried to stop the floating fortress from literally approaching its imminent demise.

 **At Beijing, China** **13:36**

The annual 'make sure these two guys don't blow up the world' UN meeting was beginning. This was something that had been a major issue plaguing many countries for several years. For Mr. Clank this was just another boring meeting for which he had to endure several different translations of the same thing. Don't blow up the planet, don't hit on my female significant person, please do not send death threats to the pope via carrier pigeon over 500 times, please for the love of everything DO NOT TRY TO END THE WORLD DUE TO AN ANIME HAVING A VERY CONFUSING ENDING, the list went on and on for Ratchet. Sadly with the boredom having long since reached its pinnacle, Ratchet was practically banging his head against the table while the various dignitaries went on about the various offences caused by the two scientists during the year between the last meeting and this one. Ratchet honestly didn't understand how Patchwork was able to endure these meetings, then again ever since the one time he opted out of the meeting and activated a portal which caused squid people to appear and revolt for their 'oppressed brethren', Patchwork decided that Ratchet would have to attend these meetings from then on, whether he was there or not. Since it was better to be hated on by diplomats trying to control their very radical practices and experiments than to accidently cause another interplanetary war, Ratchet grudgingly agreed. 'I wonder what Patchwork is doing right now.' Ratchet thought as the lead dignitary continued to speak.

"...and to sum up the recent activity of you and your colleague's activities over the past year, which includes the incident where a dragon destroyed a comicon and raged for several days over the American continent on July 22, the self-aware toilets that destroyed the Brazilian parliament on July 31, and finally the attack of the 500 foot-tall girl near the Great Wall of China on June 4 in order to, in your own words, "test your 3DM gear prototype"" Ratchet perked up from his boredom at the last one. "Oh man that was an amazing day. The prototype worked perfectly and Patchwork and I got to rp an awesome anime too!" Ratchet laughed loudly at that, genuinely at first but then nervously as he noticed no one laughed as well.

"So what is the point of this? Are we going to be punished?" Clank asked as he returned to his seat amongst the bland stares of the various dignitaries. The head spokesman of the UN stood up and answered Ratchet's question. "In a way yes. In light of these passed events and the fact that said events are reviewed late enough that it would be pointless to punish you two, we have decided to assign an agent to monitor you and report to us your various experiments as soon as possible so we can address them immediately rather than at a later point." Once again Ratchet perked up at this, rather surprised the UN had not done this sooner. "So who is it?" Ratchet asks

"That would be me." A mysterious voice states as Ratchet turns to look.

 **8-bit Thief: WHEW! Thank GOD we got this one out on time! Sorry this one is coming almost late, but themadDrPatchwork and I are currently trapped by the time and inspiration sapping monster known as college. Hopefully we will be able to stay on our once-a-month update schedule, but I cannot promise anything.**  
 **themadDrPatchwork** **: I personally want to thank everyone who has helped us in this effort for inspiring and sharing this story, thank you from the bottom of my heart.**

 **Together: PLEASE GIV US REVIEWS SO THAT WE MAY BETTER OUR STORY. JA NE!**


	4. INTRO ARC chapter 3

**Beijing, China 13:50**

Ratchet watched as a stunning woman entered the UN meeting room. She was dressed in a somewhat formfitting black Spec Ops suit, a blue tactical vest with a combat knife sheathed on her upper left forearm, a pistol holstered on her right hip and a baton hanging off her left hip. Her blonde hair was tied into a ponytail that hung off the back of her head to neck level, with no strand out of place, and her bright blue eyes seemed to pierce right through whatever she looked at. Needless to say, Ratchet was stunned at her entrance. The woman turned to the UN dignitaries before speaking. "Agent Claire Jäger, reporting for-" Claire was cut off as Ratchet disappeared and reappeared kneeling in front of her, holding her right hand in his left. "Ah, what a beautiful angel to grace us with your presence. I am Ratchet N. Clank, and I know that, should I list the name of every flower I know, I would be unable to find one comparable to even a fraction of your beauty. Why, not even the rarest alignment of stars could pull my gaze from thee. Truly, I am unworthy to be within your presence, but a gentleman should always pay his respects to a goddess when one is standing before him." Ratchet continued to woo Claire, not noticing her growing irritation. In fact, it was not until she pressed a button on her baton and jabbed it into his shoulder as he was raising her hand up to kiss it that he realized she wasn't enjoying the attention. The now-revealed shock baton delivered 50,000 volts **(1)** into Ratchet's body, sending him to the floor twitching and jabbering nonsense (a sight that some UN dignitaries would later deny taking some vindictive pleasure in seeing).

After three minutes Ratchet finally managed to regain control of his body and stand up, though his metal arm would continue to twitch from minor short circuiting for another minute or so, and looked at Claire. "Do you do that to everyone that compliments you?" he asked as Claire continued to glare at him. The head dignitary coughed to get Ratchet's attention and spoke up. "Claire Jäger is our most effective agent when it comes to handling, 'delicate' situations that occur between people and nations that could result in disastrous outcomes," Ratchet picked up the slight pause when the man said delicate, but didn't speak up "We have agreed that she is to act as our contact with you and Dr. Patchwork. She has been updated on everything we know about you and Dr. Patchwork and is authorized to use any amount of force she deems necessary to defend herself from threats, or to keep **you** in line." Ratchet pouted at that, realizing he wouldn't be able to try anything with her before going back to his seat. Just before he sat down, the entire building shook. Immediately everyone went to the large windows in the room and saw what looked like an island with a fortress on top of it had crashed into some nearby buildings, smoke billowing everywhere. Everyone immediately glared at Ratchet upon seeing this, to which he backed up with his hands raised. "Hey, I didn't do that. The island's levitation systems would prevent it from crashing anywhere, and the nav system would never allow the island to land anywhere inhabited. The only reason that," he pointed at the scene before them, "would happen is if more than 75% of the grav pads malfunctioned, or the nav system was told to land there. Both situations could only happen through either sabotage or by an infiltrator." Ratchet paused at that before his eyes went wide. "Wait! Alice and Patchwork were there!" Ratchet instantly darted out the room and ran for the smoking wreck that was his home with Claire following him after a moment's hesitation.

 **Hotel nearby UN Building 13:55**

Ma Guai **(2)** was head of the Chinese UN member's personal guard, and prided himself on his faithful service for ten years. However, the man was misogynistic beyond belief, and refused to have a woman in his service for any reason other than cooking. The men under his command knew about his misogyny, but never knew just how far it went, and in fact never really spoke up about it because of how effective he was at his job. So, when the Chinese bodyguard detail were called before him, they were shocked to see he was nearly foaming at the mouth in anger. "Men, you have served under me and protected our delegate for the UN for six years." Ma Guai began, just barely reigning his anger in to speak, "However, today I learned a disturbing piece of information. Information stating that one of you is unfit for duty! Information, revealing that one of you, is nothing more than a weak woman, trying to do a man's job!" Most of the bodyguard detail were shocked at Ma Guai's sudden outburst, appalled by his disgusting attitude, but one was shocked for a completely different reason.

Hua Xing was the only child of war veteran Hua Zhang and his wife Hua Mei. She was raised to be strong and independent, a fighter, just like her father. Combine that and her tomboyish personality and figure, many believed she was a boy and congratulated her parents on having such a fine son. Eventually, the family faced a hard time in an economic depression, and Hua Zhang sought out work. He would go on business ventures for weeks at a time, but always came home with a smile on his face and an envelope of money. One day, he did not return, and a man told the family that he was found dead, shot five times. An investigation occurred, and startling news came up. Hua Zhang had been working with a local triad, using his skills from war to make money, and had been killed by a rival group. The family was again stuck in hard times. Despite proving they had known nothing of what Zhang did, they were watched by cautious eyes and subtle glares, the honor that Hua Zhang had brought them for his service lost. Hua Xing, tired of it all, decided that this would not continue. Continuing the masquerade that followed her from childhood, she served on several bodyguard details, protecting politicians, diplomats, and everything in between, and was praised as being the perfect man for the job. Slowly, she regained the honor her family lost. Now she served as a bodyguard to the Chinese UN member, and was terrified that she would lose the chance to finally fix everything.

Ma Guai walked down the line of bodyguards before stopping at the slightly shaking Hua Xing. He paused to relish in the moment of exposing her, and this would be his undoing. Just as he turned to reveal her and throw her out, the ground shook as a massive island came crashing down, breaking right through the wall behind everyone, throwing everything off balance as a small figure grabbed Hua Xing and pulled her into the smoke.

 **Plummeting Fortress 13:55**

Alice frantically worked at waking up Dr. Patchwork, while Jenova began running diagnostics on the island's levitation system. "Come on Patchwork, wake up!" Alice grabbed Patchwork and slapped him a couple of times before sighing as he opened his eyes. Patchwork stumbled between conscious and unconscious before the blaring alarms caught his focus. "Alice, what happened?" Patchwork asked as he turned to the totaled control panel. "Well, this guy nearly saw me naked, so I tried to cave in his skull like those girls on some of Ratchet's shows do." Alice explained as Patchwork checked over Jenova's report, "I didn't mean to hit you or the control panel, but he just wouldn't stand still." Patchwork looked to Alice before sighing. "Well, from what Jenova found, about 80% of the gravitation pads along the island were short circuited by the damage. Luckily she can repair them, but it won't be quick enough to stop us. At best, she can and is working to slow us down enough to not cause a disaster, but there will still be quite a bit of damage. Also, we will need Ratchet here to repair the console before we can leave, as Jenova is incapable of fixing the damage to it." Alice paled at the information before they bolted themselves down to the nearest secured object and awaited impact. The moment the ship hit the ground, Alice and Patchwork immediately left before anything collapsed and exited into the smoke-filled room of what looked to be a hotel. Alice, seeing a group of men all armed, panicked before grabbing the nearest one. Patchwork, upon seeing this, sighed before moving over to her and help hold the struggling individual. "Great, now we have a hostage situation thanks to you Alice."

Ma Guai and the other bodyguards immediately raised their guns at the indistinct blob in the smoke, which soon cleared to show Hua Xing being held trapped by a young girl and one of the most infamous people on Earth, Dr. Patchwork. Immediately Ma Guai stepped forward, gun steady and trained at Patchwork's forehead. "Well, well, what is this, an assassination attempt?! Why else would such a sequence of events occur? For shame miss Hua, for shame." Ma Guai was paranoid from his years of service, and believed that Hua Xing was trying to pull off an escape as a hostage after failing her long term infiltration. The other bodyguards looked to one another and mentally agreed, something truly was wrong in Ma Guai's head. Patchwork, still holding Hua Xing, tried to respond, "Look, we don't want any trouble, this was all just a big misundersta-" Patchwork immediately shifted his head to avoid Ma Guai's bullet before grabbing Alice and Hua Xing and running out the building, Ma Guai and his men close behind.

 **Outside the ruined hotel**

Ratchet came to a stop in front of the half-destroyed building before spotting Alice and Patchwork exiting it with a third person. "Patchwork, Alice, You're both alright! Oh thank God you didn't die! I don't know what I would do if you did. And who is that with you?" Claire however noticed the speed at which the three were approaching them as well as the hostile group behind them. "Um, Mr. Clank, I believe there is a problem." With that statement, Ratchet realized what Claire had and immediately grabbed Claire and fell in step with Patchwork as they were hastily updated on the situation. They quickly entered a large building before entering a storage room nearby while Ma Guai and his men passed by. "Well, this is a fine mess of things." Ratchet said having finally been informed of everything, "Sorry about all of this Mr. Hua, I assure we will fix all of this when things die down." Hua Xing nodded before speaking up. "Please, call me by my English name Gene, Mr. Hua was my father." She did not correct Ratchet on calling her by the wrong gender. Ratchet nodded at this before turning to Patchwork. "I can't believe I almost forgot." Ratchet gestured at Claire, "This is Claire Jäger, and she has been assigned by the UN to act as an intermediary between us and them." Dr. Patchwork nodded before shaking Claire's hand. "Glad to have you. Alice has been needing a more feminine influence in her life." While Alice started complaining to Dr. Patchwork about his comment, Ratchet looked out the door to see if they lost their pursuers, only to smile in glee. "Well, seems we are going to have an easy time slipping away." Everyone looked to Ratchet before asking why. Ratchet merely swung the door open to show everyone what he saw and Dr. Patchwork also began to smile, though a bit more reserved than Ratchet. "Whatever you were told about us Claire, there are three things me and Patchwork love above all else. The first is science. The second and third, are anime and video games!" Ratchet exclaimed, the door finally shutting itself, cutting the small group off from the anime convention occurring in the building they were in.

 **8-bit Thief: Before I begin saying ANYTHING, I want to make one thing clear. Ma Guai and his misogynistic beliefs do not in any way, shape, or form represent my or themadDrPatchwork's beliefs. I repeat, Ma Guai DOES NOT REPRESENT THE BELIEFS OF MYSELF OR THEMADDRPATCHWORK! He was created only to act as a plot device to bring our current final member of the group into the story. I do not want to see any comments calling us misogynistic pigs or that we should respect women more, because we do respect women. We do not consider women inferior to males in any way that is not SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN AS TRUE! The average woman is SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN to be slightly weaker than the average men, yes, but also smarter. Women also mature faster than men on average, and are more capable of diplomatic and other similar tasks while men are more mentally and biologically attuned to more physically active tasks. I respect women because of all the gender-based inequality bullshit they had to go through years ago and how much they have worked to change these views in recent times. Saying this though, I know there will be some that shall hate us anyway and ignore all of the above, and to those people I say, "Go ahead and hate us, because in our hearts we know that what you say about us is untrue, and that we will take your insults and your hate, and use it as inspiration to continue making the world a better place for everyone!"**

 **themadDrPatchwork:** **Personally I would like to point out that in no such way do we support feminism and or any of those sjw stuff. This is a fictional world with fictional characters. If you have been seriously offended then you need to realize the difference. Sorry 'bout the language but I just get pissed at stupid.**

 **8-bit Thief: It is alright my friend, it's alright. Anyhow, with that out of the way, let's get to some of the marked references.**

 **(1)That value as well as the amount of time it took Ratchet to shake off the effects are actual true values. There are Tasers that deliver 50,000 volts and 3 minutes is in the varied time frame that one can suffer the effects of a Taser.**

 **(2)The names of characters in this story will follow the naming conventions, traditions, and style of the culture and nation they come from. Therefore, Ma Guai and Hua Xing follow the naming style of the Chinese, which is last name first, first name last. In America, that means they would be Guai Ma and Xing Hua. Just remember that in the future.**

 **8-bit Thief: I am honestly amazed at how little we have gotten in reviews and the like. There are two reviews, follows, and favorites for this story, and all three are either from my close FF friend The Baz, or my Co-Writer Patchwork! Seriously people, review! Give us something so that we know how this story is doing and what we may need to fix! It's so easy to do! Also, you all get a cliffhanger! This chapter would have gone further, but me and themadDrPatchwork both agreed it would be best to end here. But don't worry, the chapters are slowly increasing in length and eventually we will start having some really long chapters, around 5000 min once we have enough material to keep you satisfied, since once we start aiming for that our update schedule will probably slow down. Either way, see you next time!**

 **TOGETHER: JA NE!**


	5. Apology and Omake

**8-Bit Thief: First off, I wish to apologize profusely on how delayed the next chapter of Dr. Patchwork and Mr. Clank has been. It is already two months behind schedule. When we first made our monthly update schedule, we figured we would have the time to do so between college and everything else, but Life decided to say "HAHAHA, No." We have both been bogged down by schoolwork and the time-intensive planning and preparations of Halloween and now Thanksgiving. As much as I would love to say that this won't happen again, Christmas is coming up, and with it all the frustration from decorating. As an apology to our readers while themadDrPatchwork works on the next chapter, I have written up this omake in order to offer at least something for our readers. I truly hope you enjoy this little tale and forgive us for our colossal screw-up.**

 _Long before the events of Dr. Patchwork and Mr. Clank, the two scientists lived together upon Mr. Clank's floating fortress out of necessity for their work. In no way were these two friends, in fact it was a long and rocky road the two travelled before they became the close friends they are now. This is just one tale of the events that occurred during this time of our hero's lives._

"Hey Ratchet, how long until the food is ready!" Dr. Patchwork shouted into the kitchen from his place at the dining table, arms crossed in irritation. "I told you, it will be done in a couple minutes, and don't call me Ratchet, only my friends and family can call me that!" Ratchet shouted back from the kitchen, leaning over a soup pot, forehead glistening with sweat. "Do you think I care what you want me to call you? Just hurry up before I let one of my experiments out in your lab!" Patchwork was getting increasingly frustrated of waiting for dinner. Ratchet walked out with the soup pot, steam wafting out of the container as he headed to the table. "Don't you even dare do that again. I am still repairing my computer and retrieving everything from my external hard drive after last time." Ratchet set the pot down before using a ladle to pour some soup into Patchwork's bowl. However, it was not soup that landed in the doctor's bowl. Instead it was some purple gunk with a bunch of unidentifiable things floating inside that plopped into the bowl before Patchwork. Patchwork stared at the gunk before looking at Ratchet with incredulity. "Ratchet, what IS this? Are you trying to poison me?" Ratchet looked at Patchwork before turning and pouring some of the gunk into his own bowl before sitting. "It is chicken soup, and don't call me Ratchet." Having said this, Ratchet dipped his spoon into the bowl, and upon pulling it out revealed an eyeball coated in the purple gunk that then went straight into Ratchet's mouth. Almost immediately after Ratchet blanched before spitting out the now mushed eye from his mouth and staring at his bowl. "What the heck?! This is supposed to be chicken soup! I thought I followed the recipe pretty well?" Patchwork got up and went into the kitchen followed quickly by Ratchet.

Upon entering the kitchen Patchwork thought he stepped into some kind of horror film. The wall above the oven was covered in blood, and various bottles, cans, and containers were scattered all over the place. "What did you put in that, that, THING you served me?!" "Well, I tried to follow a recipe I found online, but I couldn't find some ingredients. The recipe told me to use vegetable oil, but I substituted motor oil instead. Also, I didn't have time to chop up any chicken, so I just tossed one in whole and mashed it up until it looked good. Then I cooked it up on the stove and brought it out." Patchwork's face went from confusion to horror as Ratchet explained how he made that abomination in the other room. "How did you think MOTOR OIL could be a substitute for VEGETABLE OIL!?" "Well, they are both oils, right, so why can't they be swapped?" "BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT THE SAME KIND OF OIL!" "Oh, my bad." Patchwork facepalmed at Ratchet's idiocy before heading to the phone. "I'll just order takeout. Please dispose of whatever you made while I do so."

 **Five Days Later**

Much to Patchwork's dismay, Ratchet once more occupied the kitchen. Patchwork got further worried as the distinct sound of POWER TOOLS echoed from the kitchen. Once again Ratchet exited the kitchen, though this time he had what looked to be a pair of steaks, though their almost black coloration did not bode well to Patchwork. "Don't worry, I managed to find the cooking oil. However, this meat I used was really tough to cut and cook. Where did you find this meat?" Patchwork paused from trying to stab the meat, which made a sound not unlike bones breaking. "What do you mean, didn't this come from the fridge?" Ratchet shook his head as he chewed a piece of the meat. "No, I found it in your lab the other day." Patchwork stared at Ratchet before looking at the plate. "Ratchet, that was some irradiated meat I got from a cow in the Chernobyl area! Why would you even think of cooking it?!" Ratchet paused before swallowing. "I thought you were going to keep it for yourself. And it looked so delicious." Patchwork again shook his head before heading for the phone. "We are getting pizza, and you are going to toss those into the incinerator."

 **One Week Later**

Despite Patchwork's best efforts, Ratchet managed to work his way back into the kitchen, and Patchwork hovered by the phone in preparation for whatever abomination Ratchet would make this time. As Ratchet stepped out, Patchwork immediately noticed the lack of strange foods on the tray Ratchet brought out. Instead, arrayed upon the tray were a series of light colored donuts. Ratchet set the tray down as Patchwork hesitantly inched over to the table. "Clank, what are those?" "This is a family recipe my mom used to make whenever I came home during breaks in college. They are called Glortharns." Patchwork hesitated from reaching out and grabbing one at the name, but eventually grabbed one and took a tentative bite.

Immediately Patchwork was shocked that the donut he was eating actually tasted GOOD, if a bit too sugary. "This tastes good! How is that?" Ratchet reveled in Patchwork's shocked look, happy to one-up him in some way before replying. "I told you, it's an old family recipe. I always got fast food or homemade meals from my mom I forgot. My family has horrible luck with food. For some reason we naturally botch up recipes by either adding wrong ingredients or overcomplicating things. Heck, once one of my cousins cooked up a slime monster during a stint in the army! My ancestors quickly figured out recipes that harnessed our terrible luck, giving intsructions for cooking with the worst possible ingredients so our family curse would end up with us cooking with good supplies. I am determined to break our curse and someday be able to cook a decent meal without using a family recipe." Patchwork stared slack-jawed at Ratchet's story before turning back to the meal. "Clank, please just focus on using family recipes in the future. I would rather not be killed by food." Ratchet grumbled before grabbing a donut of his own. "I make no promises."

 _Indeed, there would be many incidences of Ratchet's horrible cooking in the future, with many requiring the two working together to kill whatever food monster Ratchet ended up making. But those are tales for another day._

 **8-Bit Thief: And there you go, the first side story of Dr. Patchwork and Mr. Clank. Again, I am immensely sorry for the delay we have been facing in finishing the next chapter, but we will work hard to get out soon. Until then, enjoy, and please review, I don't want to end up a writer who begs for reviews, but you guys are making me do so. I don't care what the review is, I just want to know what you all think. Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving everyone. JA NE!**


	6. INTRO ARC chapter 4

**themadDrPatchwork: First of all I would like to apologize for the long wait. Let's just say that there was a lot of issues going on in my personal life and add that with writer's block and depression and you got one heaping pile of a mess that will definitely screw you up anyway hopefully things will turn out for the better. And also expect more unique ideas coming from the two of us, mainly one-offs and such. Honestly I'm looking forward to what my friend and I can do.**

 **8-bit Thief: As do I. Anyway yes, we are both extremely sorry this chapter is coming out so late, about 3 months off schedule if my numbers are correct. Again, life decided to screw us over. Also, I am still noticing a lack of reviews, so let me tell you readers something I found on someone else's story. For writers, a lack of reviews is worse than negative put-downs, as it makes us question "Is my story any good? Do they like it, or do they hate it?" Eventually, it gets to the point where the writer may even lose the will to continue their story, simply because no one told them what they feel about the story. So please, leave us a review, tell us what you think, let us know what we are doing right, and doing wrong. Otherwise, this story may end up dying** _ **,**_ **simply because you were not willing to take a small amount of time to give us your thoughts. Man, now that I got THAT out of my system, let's get on with the story**

 _Anime Convention, China_

"Why the hell didn't we just flee to your fortress?" Claire asked annoyed as Dr. Patchwork shut the door to the dingy and flimsy storage room of the convention, while Mr. Clank pulled out what looked like marbles until he pushed a button expanding their size.

"First of all there is the big issue that our fortress is currently crashed into the side of a building." Patchwork said rather nonchalantly while the rest of the crew were briefly blinded by light as Clank threw down the balls and after a flash a whole array of costumes appeared from them **(1)**.

"Well can you two actually fix it?" Claire asked as suddenly she was thrown a costume (Claire from Resident evil) **(2)**.

"Well the actual structure is an easy fix" Clank said as he put on a red coat on with an alchemic symbol. "We can actually do that in less than five minutes." Patchwork said as he put on a metal suit (A character from Fire Emblem) while handing Xing a Costume with an eye on it. (You know who from Legend of Zelda)

"Then why are we at a convention rather than escaping!?" Claire all but shouted angrily.

"That's because the power source broke." Alice said rather bluntly as she finished her change into the Alice madness returns costume.

"Power source? What do you people use? Nuclear, hydroelectric, batteries, if you want I could easily just get my bosses to send one over in a few minutes…" Claire said before Patchwork cut her off.

"Unless you can accurately recreate a philosopher's stone, I think we just need to work on fixing the one we have." he said as he pulled out a blood red fractured stone with cracks and even a small portion missing. "This mere stone is far more effective than any generator you or the UN could possibly bring or create, plus we have to worry more so about fixing this one first."

"Why, would it explode or something." Claire inquired rather quizzically

"Exactly, though it would depend on which bad scenario you would think that we would suffer through. Best case scenario, it explodes with more force than ten Tsar Bombas, worst case, it implodes with as much force as a star's collapse and then create a Black Hole causing all life on earth to die in the vortex, plus affecting the entire solar system." Clank explained nonchalantly.

Claire and Xing paled at that while Alice whacked Clank with her mallet for explaining such a catastrophe as if he was discussing the weather.

"Then why the hell are we here when we should get back to the ship and repair it before it goes critical." Alice snapped as Clank was currently trying not to see the birds flying around his head.

"That's because we can actually fix it with things around the convention... and I wanted to see if Miyazaki was here and see the sneak peek of the new studio Ghibli film" Patchwork said while looking bashful at the end.

"Plus it is a well populated area with plenty of distractions for the authorities to not pick us out since this place has many uniquely dressed people to blend in with" Ratchet said as he finally shook off the concussion Alice gave him and began modifying his current look into that of Edward Elric. "And finally, if the stone was in danger of collapse, it would have done so by now."

"Ok, so what do we need to prevent it from collapsing in the middle of the convention?" Claire asked nervously while looking out into the main floor of the expo.

"We, as in me and Stitch will worry about that, you and Alice will worry about leading, or rather misleading, the authorities to other areas of the Con, and uh...what's your name again?" Ratchet asked pointing to Xing.

"Xing, I...uh kinda pissed off the captain of my squad by mentioning something about how women can fight as well as him. I think he lost a marble or something because now he's accusing people of crossdressing." Xing lied rather nervously then bowed, "I'm deeply sorry for mixing you into this"

"Huh, so he is a misogynist? Perfect, I have a few… _experiments_ I am sure he would love to participate in." Ratchet began giggling to himself as a dark aura surrounded him as he planned some very embarrassing pranks to play on Xing's former commander.

"Ratchet, as much as I myself would love to put him into… _experiments_ myself, remember we are pressed for time, so if you do plan to do anything to him, make it quick." Stitch said as he pulled out a map.

"Oh, don't worry, I have a very quick one planned, remember when we went to the last con with the magical girl movie premiere?"

"Oh you mean with that one asshole with the lolita complex who bullied the five year old girl?" Stich said amused as a dark aura surrounded him as well. "Very well, I think that would prove rather amusing, don't you think?"

"Indeed, especially since I decided the show looked interesting enough to make something." Ratchet reached behind himself and revealed a pink rod with wings at the top surrounding a ruby shaped like a heart. "All we have to do is get this in his hands and it will do the rest."

The two mad inventors began to chuckle evilly and then turned to the three women who were confused, intrigued, and scared slightly all at the same time.

"Well in any case here is the game plan, Claire and Alice will go toward the revealing of the new Jem movie sequel, at which point you will create some form of distraction. Gene, can I call you Gene, will stay with us and help spot our vict- I mean friend, yeah… friend, while we fix the stone." Ratchet delegated as he grabbed the stone to complete his look while Xing (now known as Gene) merely crossed her arms in the, somewhat tight, Sheik costume she was given before finally nodding and stepping over to the two madmen.

Claire merely sighed before grabbing Alice's hand and heading off. "Fine, but if anything bad happens, I will report it to my superiors. And if that thing goes off, there will be nowhere on Earth, Heaven, Hell, or anywhere else that you could hide from me." With that threat made, the door shut behind them as they entered the convention.

Ratchet merely smiled at the leaving comment. "Oh, if only she knew the tech I had, she would know that threat couldn't be followed. Anyway, let's get going. I would love to get some new souvenirs for my collection before we leave." Ratchet also stepped out of the storage room, leaving Stitch and Gene behind.

Stitch sighed at Ratchet's comment before looking over at Gene. "You know, you are lucky he didn't find out." Gene immediately froze at the statement before turning to Stitch. "What do you mean?" she asked nervously. "That you are a girl. Oh don't try to fool me," Stitch said as she was about to deny him, "the others may have been focused on changing and Clank was unconscious, but I definitely noticed the clothing articles you had before you stored them in the capsule." He sighed as Gene began to panic, "Look, I won't tell him. I would rather not make you suffer his attention." Gene managed to calm down after that. "You would really help me keep my secret? Why?" "Because one, he is a bit overbearing when it comes to women, and I know what that is like, and two, it is kinda funny knowing there's a girl right next to him that ISN'T being hounded by him." Suddenly, Stitch had a shiver run up his back. "Crap, **She** is here." Gene looked confused as now Stitch began to panic. "Who is here?" She asked. Stitch looked over to Gene before saying in a voice full of dread, "My fiancé is here."

 _Cue disney sparkles_

 _FlashBack Land!_

 _The setting of this flashback will be taking place in a Roman chapel, as a young Stitch, age eight, is led by his father, a stern man in robes, toward the balcony._

"Patchwork I would like you to meet your future bride to be" his father states with the smug sound of accomplishment of setting up his lineage with another prominent member of the clergy.

The girl was busy playing with a rag doll, currently sewing up the tear in its dress, though when she noticed Stitch she stopped sewing and looked at him with a stare that made her cold green eyes seem like the fires of hell. Instantly he felt a shiver of fear overcome him, but he paid it no mind.

"Hello, my name is Stitch Patchwork, what is your name?" he said nervously as he held out his hand.

She grabbed it immediately and with the devil's tone responded "My name is Claudia Karma, and when we get older you'll be my wife."

"Um, isn't it the other way around?" Patchwork said nervously as he tried to get out of her iron clawed grip as she pulled him closer to her.

"Not when I'm done with you, my love, all we need to do is properly break you in, I'd say about a dozen times with the whip should do love." Claudia whispered demonically.

It was then that Patchwork saw true hell, Claudia soon became more and more obsessed with him and breaking him into her toy. To this day after he went off to find his own path in life, she still stalked him, wanting to continue the arrangement that he clearly was trying to forget even existed.

It didn't matter how impossible it should have been, she always managed to stalk him and find him in places anyone would think that they would be safe from a psychotic yandere stalker, wanting to make him her 'bride'.

 _END of FLASHBACK LAND_

Gene stared at Patchwork in shock as his little story ended. "Wow, she sounds horrifying, why didn't anyone try and stop her?" Patchwork looked down at the ground before saying "She was only like that around me. If anyone else was nearby she acted like a _proper_ lady." Suddenly, the two turned as Ratchet came back in. "Man, what is taking you guys so long, oh, by the way Stitch, your girlfriend is here. She was looking at some sort of screen. I got a close look at it, and it was a GPS, if rather horribly vague. I think she tagged you."

"Wait, she TAGGED me!? How, when!? Ugh, thank god she is bad with technology." "Don't worry, I'm jamming the signal somewhat, so even if she was using the most high-tech tracking system, she would still only get a general area of your location, and by general, I mean she would know what city you're in. Also, when we get back to the fortress, I will do a full body scan for you if it makes you feel any better." At that statement the mad doctor began to calm down. "Alright, that does make me feel a bit better. Okay, let's get this over with. Time is wasting." With that declaration, Dr. Patchwork stepped out of the storage room, followed closely by Ratchet and Gene.

 **8-bit Thief: ALRIGHT! Finally we got this one done! I apologize again for the delay on this chapter. Anyway, on to the marked references**

 **(1)Yes, Ratchet did make the Capsule Corp. capsules, those things are just too useful not to have.**

 **(2)The characters were each given cosplay costumes that either fit (look-wise or background-wise) themselves, or the costume was of said character's inspiration.**

 **Ratchet: looks (the metal arm)**

 **Patchwork: I don't know, my partner chose that on his own**

 **Claire: inspiration**

 **Alice: inspiration**

 **Gene: background (both are girls disguised as men)**

 **themadDrPatchwork: Please leave us any reviews on what you liked, didn't like, or just on grammar so we can make our story better. We will do our best to get the next chapter out on schedule.**

 **Together: JA NE!**


	7. INTRO ARC chapter 5

**8-bit Thief: Alrighty then, here is chapter 5 of our story. I am going to keep this AN short, because I imagine I have already said everything necessary. I will say, at this point, I am done. If you all wish to review, then do so, and if not, very well, I am done asking and acting like a review-hungry beggar. Let's get this chapter going.**

 _Anime Convention, China_

"Alright, exactly how are we supposed to make a distraction in a place like this?" Claire asked as she and Alice stood before the screen having just finished watching the Jem preview. "Well, Dr. Patchwork and Mr. Clank always said, if you need to make a distraction, just start an argument and let things escalate." Alice stated, glancing around the massive crowd around them. "And how are we supposed to do that?" Alice, instead of answering, walked up to a man dressed up as Papyrus from Undertale. "Um, sir, I just heard that man over there say that Undertale is a game for furries." Alice said as she pointed to a man wearing an 'I heart furries' t-shirt. The man looked over and immediately stomped over, and started arguing with the man. Almost as if a signal went off, the crowd around the two began to take sides, and the argument escalated to include numerous inane topics until no one could hear anything but gibberish. Claire simply stood shocked watching the event, before Alice dragged her away before she was pulled in by others. "THAT is how you make a distraction at a convention." Alice smugly stated before rushing to find the others, Claire in tow.

 _With Dr. Patchwork, Mr. Clank, and Gene_

Ratchet perked up as he heard the chatter coming from the Jem premiere and said "Welp, looks like Alice pulled through for us, I almost think I can hear what they are saying over there." "Yeah well, it should only keep our tails busy for a short time before they continue searching, so let's be quick." Stitch said, looking around for the various materials needed to repair the philosopher's stone in Ratchet's hand. Gene looked between the two before asking "Exactly what is it we are looking for?" Stitch turned to her for a moment before returning to his search, stating "Well there are a few materials we need. First we need to get several ounces of iron, steel could be a significant substitute which we can borrow from the medieval section, next we need some sulfuric acid or just battery acid, and finally we need some blood plasma mixed in with a virgin's blood, and *cough* some plutonium *cough*." Patchwork said nervously at the end. Gene blinked at the simplicity of most of the items Dr. Patchwork had listed, though she was a bit uneasy at the blood part. "Well, that doesn't sound too difficult, except for the plutonium. If that is how you fix it, it mustn't be that hard to make." At that statement Ratchet began to laugh before turning to Gene. "Indeed, it is very easy to maintain, or even fix a philosopher's stone," Ratchet said, "but making one is extremely difficult. There are only two known methods to make a philosopher's stone. The first, and more well-known method to alchemists, is through human sacrifice. By use of a specific alchemical ritual, one can drain humans of their soul and condense it into a source of power, a philosopher's stone. However, such a stone is limited in use, and must be charged by draining more souls lest it eventually run dry and crumble to dust." Gene blanched at the new knowledge and turned to Stitch, asking "Please tell me that isn't how you made it." Stitch shook his head, replying "No, we used the other method, which we discovered ourselves. Remember how Ratchet said it could implode like a star?" Gene nodded at that. "That is because it technically IS a star. We took a more scientific approach. A star generates massive amounts of power by converting the elements within through nuclear fusion, forming an iron core that slowly kills it. Our stone acts as a container and channel for a micro star of our own creation that is the size of a thumb, though equal in strength to a normal sized star. The stone also has an alchemical array on it that converts the iron core within said star into its original gaseous components, meaning the star will last forever, constantly generating power that we can then harness for our use. That way, we only have to maintain the outer shell that is the stone." Gene visibly calmed at this. She was about to speak before Ratchet held an arm up, and pointed to a man that was rather well armed and seemed to be looking for someone. "Hey Gene, is that your former boss?" Gene looked over and merely nodded. Ratchet smiled before asking "How are his reflexes and reaction time?" Gene was confused at the question, but answered "He has the best reflexes, with my own as a close second." At that answer, Ratchet's smile grew wider, before he pulled out the girly staff from before. "Excellent, that will make this work perfectly." Ratchet said, before tossing the staff high in the air, such that it would land on top of the man, and immediately grabbed Stitch and Gene and hid behind a nearby stand.

Ma Guai was frustrated. Ever since the crash of the fortress of those two scientists, nothing went right for him. He had chased them into this convention, but could not find them anywhere. Dimly, he heard the sound of something flying towards him, and reached out to grab it. He had a quick chance to see an extremely girly staff before he was consumed in a sudden flash of light. When the light faded, Ma Guai was revealed to now be wearing what could only be described as a magical girl outfit. Ma Guai took one look at the pink, red, and white ribbons and frills covering him, and screamed at the top of his lungs. Behind the stand they were hiding behind, Ratchet, Stitch, and Gene desperately tried to hold in their laughter, Gene most of all given it was payback by proxy. "Exactly how long will that last?" Gene managed to say through her snickers. Ratchet managed to calm himself down before answering "Should he try to remove the clothes by force, they will regenerate, and the staff will return to him should he try to get rid of it. His clothes will only return to normal when he politely asks the staff to turn him back." Gene had to hold her laugh back even more upon hearing that, knowing Ma Guai would be too prideful to attempt such a simple solution. The three watched as Ma Guai stomped off, his mood worsening at the snickers of those around him, before Stitch stood back up. "Well, that was fun to watch, but we should continue our search." Ratchet nodded, and he and Gene continued on in their search.

 _With Alice and Claire_

"That girl over there says that your sailor moon outfit is off." Claire said slightly unsure of herself as she spoke to the cosplayer while pointing to a girl currently dressed up as girl Ranma. In an instant the Sailor girl charged off at the other cosplayer, causing her boyfriend (who was dressed up as Tuxedo Mask) and the friend of the Ranma cosplayer (who was dressed as Akane) to try in vain to stop it. Alice watched as the cosplayers went at each other before turning to Claire. "You're getting better at this." Claire merely smiled at the comment before walking away, saying "Well, I was a special operations agent, this stuff is child's play to what I normally did." "And to what devious manipulations did you do before hand?" Alice asked with a somewhat evil grin to her face." "Oh you know, tricking men into killing someone out of undying love for me, convincing a man that his father murdered his lover out of a jealous rage, managing to convince an entire troupe that I was a transsexual without outright telling anyone for shits and giggles. You know, typical spy stuff" Claire said nonchalantly, not noticing Alice's evil grin turn into a look of surprise and slight fear.

Alice made a mental note never to get on Claire's bad side, lest she become the next member on a probably long list of her victims. Before she could continue to contemplate on this she ran into what you could only be described as a wall of flesh before she was knocked back to the ground. One smelling of shame and indignity. "Come on man we all know that there is **Fifty-two** episodes of magical girl ⭐️sama star ❤️." a nasally voice of a man who looked like he would definitely be on some parent's watchlist for people who should **Not** be around any child said to a man who looked as though he had not received a good meal in a while and smelled as if he did not shower for days on end. "Hey watch it jerk!" Alice said as she pulled herself up from the floor. The two men turned their attention to the small voice before them and as they laid their eyes on her a small perverted grin came across their faces. "Dude, it's a tsundere Alice! Quick, call me a worthless baka!" the smelly man said, getting closer to Alice than she was comfortable with. "What? No! Get away you pervs!" Alice said as she was getting ready to pull out her hammer of unparalleled doom and pain. Unfortunately, her comment only seemed to incite a shiver of, to her disgust, _pleasure_ in the smelly man _,_ who stepped towards her with a terrible gleam in his eye while his larger friend stepped over to run interference with the approaching Claire. However, before either side could do anything, a voice called out in the style of what could only be a super sentai-style hero. "HALT EVILDOERS! YOU SHALL DO NOTHING TO THIS MAIDEN WHILE I AM AROUND!" Turning to the side there was a young man dressed as a Kamen Rider said while spotlights shone on him… only for a stage light to fall five feet away from him as he pulled a signature pose. "Gahh, What the Heck!" he cried out pulling back a step as a sweatdrop appeared on the four spectators. "Oookay, uh…*Ahem* AS I WAS SAYING, YOU SHALL NOT LAY A HAND ON THIS MAIDEN!" the Rider said again in his signature pose trying to reclaim some of the cool factor that he lost a moment ago. "Yeah, ok kid move along, I am going to be, _he he,_ **punished** for speaking to little miss Tsundere here, so how about you go back to your parents, and we can pretend this didn't happen. I think that sounds good." the pedo said as he turned his back to the young sentai. "Big mistake." the Rider said before he got into a low stance and launched himself into a flying kick at the pedophile. The man, with his back turned, was completely unprepared for the impact, and was conveniently launched into his friend harassing Claire, causing the larger one to crash into a nearby stand while the smelly one got back up and headed to the Rider, rage in his eyes. The Rider ran up to the man, and before he could react, flicked his foot up past the bridge of his nose and then backflipped away. The man stood there for a few awkward moments before he suddenly collapsed, joining his friend in unconsciousness. Curious as to why the man collapsed when he wasn't even hit once, Alice flipped the man over, only to find a flurry of foot marks proceeding up the man's body. 'He was fast, I didn't even see him land a hit once' Alice thought to herself as the Rider walked over, removing his helmet to reveal the youthful face of a 13 year old boy, hazel eyes framed by short black hair. "So, anything to say to your savior?" the boy asked, seeming both arrogant and hopeful at the same time.

"My hero." Alice stated sarcastically, though the boy in front of her seemed to beam at that statement. "Really?" he asked wide eyed, and Alice quickly shot his thoughts down. "No, not really, I could have handled that." The boy pouted a moment before bouncing back. "Well, regardless, what kind of man would I be to let such a cute girl like you fend for herself?" the boy said, attempting to seem cool. Alice blushed at the cute comment before saying "By the way, what's your name?" Again, the boy seemed to deflate before replying, "The name's Connor, and what is yours, if I may ask?" "Alice." "Huh, cute name too." Alice blushed again, and Connor joined her as he realized what he just said.

Alice and Connor's conversation was cut off by a sudden voice. "OI CONNOR, WHERE ARE YOU? WE ARE LEAVING NOW!" Connor and Alice turned to see a man dressed up as Goku shouting, another man dressed as Piccolo standing next to him. Connor turned back to Alice and said "Sorry, but I have to go, my dads are calling me." Alice blinked at that. "Oh, you have two dads too?" Connor blanched at the question and immediately began to deny it. "NO! No, no, they are more like caretakers, I'm an orphan and the one dressed as Goku is my uncle, so I live with him. The other guy is his friend and roommate." Connor paused as he ran the rest of Alice's question through his mind. "Wait, you too?" Alice shook her head and said "No, I am the same as you, minus the uncle part. They adopted me. Though they are a bit of a handful at times." Connor nodded at that statement. "Yeah, same here. Oh, before I forget," Connor grabbed a piece of paper and wrote down a phone number before handing it to Alice, "in case you want to just, you know, talk, don't hesitate to call." With that said, Connor quickly rushed off to his caretakers, a faint blush on his cheeks. Alice watched him go, a faint blush on her cheeks as well at the fact he gave her his number, before Claire walked up next to her, a teasing grin on her face. "So, when's the wedding?" she teased, and watched as Alice lit up like a neon sign, immediately sputtering a denial of any relationship between her and Connor outside of friends amidst Claire's laughter.

 _Meanwhile with Connor_

As Connor walked up to the two men, the one dressed up as Piccolo snickered a little as he pointed to the girl, asking "So did she say no to the ring?" As soon as he said that Connor blushed hard, all but yelling "Hey it's not like that!" "Then why did you give her your number?" the man dressed as Goku said with a playful sneer. It was then that Connor's face would have put Rudolph's nose to shame. The man dressed as Goku smiled and patted Connor on the head. "Teasing aside, I'm proud of you nephew. Now, let's head home, I just bought the newest copy of DragonBall Super as well as a copy of season one of Kamen Rider Ex-Aid! Maybe after we all finish it together you can watch it with your 'girlfriend'." With that said, the Goku and Piccolo cosplayers headed to the exit, a blushing Connor following right behind.

 _Within the Convention_

The loud smack of a hand meeting a skull echoed throughout the warring convention center as several fights escalated, the convention security trying, and failing to bring things back to order. Ratchet looked around, having just grabbed some steel from one of the weapon exhibits, and turned to Stitch. "Huh, maybe we shouldn't have let Alice and Claire handle the distraction. Either way, we got all the supplies we can get here, so let's find them and get out of here." Stitch turned to Ratchet and nodded, quickly diving into the fray in a search for their missing companions. Gene watched Stitch disappear into the crowd and turned to Ratchet. "Will he be able to find them?" she asked, and Ratchet started to laugh at her question. "Don't worry, he will have no trouble finding them and getting back here." Ratchet stated, before turning thoughtful. "Unless he runs into his girlfriend first." Immediately after saying that, a fist impacted Ratchet's head as Stitch came out of the crowd, Alice and Claire in tow. "I told you, she is not, was not, and never will be my girlfriend so long as I have anything to say about it. Now let's get out of here." Stitch growled out as the group of five left the convention.

 _Back in the Fortress_

"Alright, that should do it." Stitch said as he slotted the newly repaired philosopher's stone into the main generator of the fortress, and watched as all the systems shone green as Ratchet came in, covered in grease from repairing the various damaged repulsors on the underside of their little island, a Voltron coffee mug in hand. "Man, this was one crazy day huh? Good thing we had some spare plutonium, though did you really need to be that forceful with the needle, my arm is still a bit sore." Ratchet asked, rubbing his arm at the spot Stitch drew blood plasma from to repair the stone. "Sorry about that, guess I was still mad about the girlfriend comment." Stitch replied, a sour look on his face. "I understand, she is crazy. So the stone is fixed huh? Any other news you have for me?" Ratchet asked, taking a sip of his coffee. Stitch smiled as he saw what Ratchet was doing and replied "Well, it seems Alice got an admirer." Stitch immediately began to hold back a laugh as Ratchet spat out his coffee at the answer before coughing. "WHAT!?" Ratchet finally managed to yell out between his coughs. "Yeah, apparently they met at the con and exchanged numbers." Stitch replied, amused at Ratchet's freak-out session. "Wha-, but-, HOW?" "Apparently she was being accosted by a lolicon, but he stepped in and 'rescued' her. Apparently they have very similar backgrounds and situations, though he lives with family." That statement calmed Ratchet somewhat, if the only slightly labored breathing indicated, and he asked "Do we at least know anything about him?" Stitch, again amused at the sight of **Ratchet** of all people acting like a parent, answered "We do know he is into Kamen Rider and potentially Super Sentai, as that was his costume, his caretakers are into Dragonball given their outfits, and he is very chivalrous, if somewhat awkward with others from what Alice said." Ratchet finally managed to calm himself and thought over the information. "Alright, he doesn't sound so bad. At least he isn't some kind of weirdo," Ratchet remarked, though he thought again for a moment, "well, not a **bad** type of weirdo. Alright, she can talk to him. BUT, we have to meet him before they can do more than that." Stitch thought over the last two statements and nodded. "I think she will agree to that. Now then, with our power source repaired and our security operational, shall we begin our next foray into the unknown?" At that, Ratchet started to grin. "Indeed, Jenova managed to lock onto the coordinates of the UT verse. Apparently the first coordinates led to some kind of void, but she managed to correct them. However, should we include our two new guests?" Ratchet asked, referring to Claire and Gene. Stitch thought for a moment before answering "Why not, the more the merrier they say." At that, the two scientist began to laugh long and hard, eagerly awaiting the start of their next adventure. A moment later though, Ratchet paused before saying "You know, I feel like I'm forgetting something."

 _U.N. Meeting Room, China_

The head of the U.N. meeting watched as the two scientists' fortress resumed its flight around the world before sighing. "Well, it seems that neither of those two will be returning any time soon. All in favor of adjourning this meeting?" Every hand in that room raised at the question and the head nodded. "Very well, the annual meeting on the experiments of Dr. Patchwork and Mr. Clank is adjourned." With that said, everyone in the room left to return to their homes and hopefully forget this day ever happened.

 **8-bit Thief: And there you have it everyone, the end to our introduction arc. To be honest, I was so focused on ending the intro arc and starting the next that I actually DID forget about the U.N. meeting! Anyway, the main trio have two new members. Do know, this is not the final group, we will have more characters added to the main group later on, some which will be introduced in the arc after the next, while others we have yet to decide how or when to add. But either way, me and my colleague are going to have fun with the next arc, because now we will be starting up the action.**

 **themadDrPatchwork: Just to let you all know due to some school related stuff (mainly involving drawing, which I'm horrible at) most of the chapter's creation goes to Thief here. I will be trying my best to try and help write more often but college. Anyway I want to say that we will try and work to the best of our ability to try and make an interesting story.**

 **8-Thief: Also, once this story gets further in, possibly third arc, I will begin working on other stories not related to this one. No, I will not be dropping this one, I will just be expanding my literary repertoire. Those that like this, keep an eye out for them. Also, I decided to do something fun. For those who liked the omake, I ask you to give us idea** **s. Send in an idea for an omake, and if me or my partner like it, we may release it as a chapter. Now then, I think that is all I wanted to cover, so let's end this.**

 **themadDrPatchwork: Indeed, let us do so.**

 **Both: JA NE! SEE YOU IN THE NEXT ARC OF DR. PATCHWORK AND MR. CLANK!**

 **P.S. For all those who read and enjoy this story, I wish to announce that the next chapter, chapter 1 of the UT ARC, may end up being released a little late. This is due to my colleague themadDrPatchwork commissioning artwork for our story. I love this idea and plan to make the cover art of this story into said commission once I see it. Hope you all don't mind the wait for the beginning of the next events in the lives of Dr. Patchwork and Mr. Clank!**


	8. UT ARC chapter 1

**8-bit Thief: Alright everybody, it's time! The UT Arc is upon us! Now we are gonna start getting into the action, so we really need your support. With that said, thank you Jackie for your contribution to our story. Unfortunately, we have yet to see the art she has made for us, so we eagerly await to see exactly what you have created Jackie.**

 **themadDrPatchwork: This has been a labour of love and we would like if you could please let the word of this story spread, we are in dire need of constructive criticism and would like to get to know what you guys would recommend for future ideas within the story. Thank you for reading this far and we hope that you continue to enjoy this work.**

 **8-bit Thief: Now, let's get on with the story!**

* * *

 _Inside the Floating Fortress of Dr. Patchwork and Mr. Clank_

"Alright Ratchet, where are you taking us?" Claire asked as Ratchet led the group of five through the halls of his and Dr. Patchwork's fortress before stopping. "If you must know, it is my lab." Ratchet said as he gestured to the door in front of him. However, calling it a door was an understatement, as it would not have looked out of place in a high-security facility. The _door_ was a 10-foot wide vault door, with a numeric-based passcode screen and a _retinal scanner_ embedded on its surface. The wall immediately surrounding it was made of seamless titanium panels, making the room near unbreachable. The fact that a _Gatling turret_ was mounted on a swivel above the door with a laser sight worried both Claire and Gene, as the sheer defenses were obviously built to keep people out, and quite potentially _in_ as well. An uncomfortable silence reigned as Ratchet inputted the code, scanned his eyes, and turned the dial on the door, allowing the door to swing inwards on hidden hinges and reveal Ratchet's lab. The group walked in as the door shut, the sound of bars sliding through it bringing Gene and Claire's worry higher than before, especially when they looked around the lab. Hundreds of tables were strewn about the room, some had high-tech computers atop them, others had chemistry sets atop them, and still others had robotic and mechanical parts all over. Some of these parts were dismantled and hooked to monitors while others were laying around or attached to various machines in various states of disrepair. One table had a robot atop it hooked up to numerous wires, its left leg detached and set nearby and it's right optic had blown out, granting a peek into the inner workings. Finally, in the back of the lab was a giant platform, a set of stairs attached leading to a giant ring, thousands of wires and cords hooking the ring to various computers, monitors, and the main power line of the fortress. Ratchet, noticing their discomfort, quickly spoke up. "Don't worry, the locks are simply there in case something goes wrong during my experiments. Right now there is nothing dangerous for anyone, as the current device we are here for is perfectly safe and repeatedly tested." "Which one would that be?" Gene asked, and was answered by Ratchet pointing towards the giant ring. "Before I get started, I should probably explain some things to you two as you both are new to our little group. First off, are either of you familiar with multiverse theory?" Ratchet asked.

Upon seeing both Gene and Claire shaking their heads, Ratchet began explaining. "Multiverse theory is the idea that our world, our universe, is simply one of many. The theory states that every decision and event creates two or more universes, one for every possible outcome. Some universes are very similar, such as one where you had soup for breakfast and one where you had cereal. Then there are universes that are drastically different, such as one where Hitler won World War II or where America had been colonized by the Vikings long before Columbus came around. In some universes, the Earth doesn't even exist. Based on this theory, one could argue that there are universes where the fantasies of our minds, the fairy tales, movies, and books that we have made are actually reality. That there are universes where the Lord of the Rings is real, where there are actual schools of witchcraft and wizardry, and where there are entire galaxies protected by the Jedi Order. In fact, there is quite possibly a universe where we are all nothing more than fictional characters in a story." Ratchet said as he began to build up momentum in his explanation, Gene and Claire listening intently while Stitch and Alice looked bored. "That aside, me and Stitch have an intense love of fantasy, especially those centered around video games and anime. One day, I finally had a breakthrough in space-time theoretical physics, and designed this." Ratchet patted the side of the ring he was standing beside and continued talking. "This right here is a multidimensional transporter. I won't bore you with all the scientific minutia pertaining to its operation, but in layman's terms it basically uses wormholes alongside the mechanics of quantum tunneling to create a bridge between universes. With this, me and Stitch have discovered several fantasy worlds, and had adventures within them, always returning with some form of scientific advancement for us to study and replicate. This machine here is the main reason that WE are the forerunners in EVERY scientific field the world over!"

* * *

His explanation finished, Ratchet stood and watched as Gene and Claire absorbed the massive information dump. Eventually, Claire's eyes widened and she turned to Stitch. "Wait, if he brought us to this thing, that must mean he found a new universe, right?" she asked. Stitch nodded and stepped up next to Ratchet. "Indeed. Ratchet has had his A.I. Jenova running calculations via our numerous supercomputers in order to identify coordinates to new universes the moment he had the system up and running perfectly. Upon locating one, she is to utilize various systems to potentially identify what universe it is. After identifying the universe, she is to inform Ratchet, and at his command begin testing whether or not the universe is safe to enter." Ratchet immediately picked up from where Stitch left off. "Just yesterday Jenova identified the coordinates for the universe in which the PC game Undertale exists. At first the coordinates led to some kind of void, but Jenova managed to recalibrate them to lock onto the actual universe." Ratchet and Stitch watched as Gene and Claire blinked owlishly as they finished talking. "You two don't know what Undertale is, do you?" Ratchet deadpanned. Upon seeing them once again shake their heads, he sighed before turning to Stitch. "You explain it to them, I need to start up the MDT and get the portal active." Ratchet said as he walked to one of the computers nearby, turning it on with a quiet hum and began pressing keys.

Stitch turned to the girls and with a spontaneous clap of his hands the lights went out and a few seconds later they were all inside a classroom where he was dressed in what could only be described as a crazy teacher attire. Smiling crazily Stitch clapped once more, and from the separation of his hands a baton appeared along with a blackboard behind him. "Now, who here knows what an indie game is?" he asked with a fake nasally accent. Alice raised her hand and Stitch pointed his baton at her. "Yes Alice?" "An indie game is a game created usually by a single person without the assistance of a triple A developer." she explained calmly. Smiling, Stitch clapped excitedly. "Correct, now Undertale is an indie game, developed by one person, Toby Fox. The premise of the game is that it is an RPG-style game where, as opposed to the usual concept of RPGs, nobody has to die. The game takes place in the underground where, as a fallen human, you must travel through the underground to return home, and while you travel you will come against monsters in which you can FIGHT, ACT, use an ITEM, or show MERCY, during the battle you will enter a bullet curtain style fight. If anyone who reads this wants to learn more, buy the game on Steam. This is a game that MUST be experienced!" Stitch says pointing at the 4th wall and the readers of this chapter, much to the confusion of his 'students'.

* * *

Suddenly the room returned to normal as the MDT began giving off a violent hum, electricity sparking along its frame. Gene and Claire looked around in confusion at the sudden change in scenery again before noticing the ring. "I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WAS SAFE?" Claire yelled, as the machine's hum was getting loud enough to drown out any talking, and multicolored streams of light began to form at the inner edge of the ring and spiral inwards. "IT IS SAFE! WHAT, DID YOU THINK BREACHING MULTIDIMENSIONAL BARRIERS WAS EASY? TRUST ME, WHAT YOU ARE SEEING NOW HAPPENS EVERY TIME IT'S USED!" Ratchet yelled back from the console through which he was regulating the machine's progress as the rainbow-colored streams converged in the center of the ring and began spinning, eventually creating a smooth kaleidoscopic circle inside of the ring. Almost immediately the hum died down to a gentle white noise and the ring stopped sparking with electricity. Ratchet took one look at the computer before him and then rejoined Stitch in front of the machine. "Welp, the portal is stable and completely traversable. Now we just have to deal with one last thing before we can go through." Ratchet turned and pointed at Gene and Claire. "We need to get you guys some weapons."

* * *

"Weapons? We already have weapons." Claire said, gesturing to the pistol and stun baton she had holstered on her hips and at Gene's sheathed katana, which was hanging through a belt loop on her pants. Ratchet stared for a moment before bursting out in laughter. After about a minute of laughing, Ratchet calmed down, unaffected by Gene and Claire's combined glaring. "Trust me, you are going to need a LOT more than a pistol, stun baton, or sword. Where we are going, most of the danger will be of a supernatural origin, and as such, mundane weapons just won't cut it. Now, normally I would get you guys weapons like mine, Stitch, or Alice's, but that won't work either." Ratchet said, gesturing to the odachi **(1)** slung across his back, the bandolier of scalpel-like knives wrapped around Stitch's chest, and the giant mallet latched onto Alice's back, all of which had appeared from nowhere mere moments after Ratchet mentioned them. Claire was about to question the suddenly appearing weapons, but quickly decided not asking would let her keep her sanity longer and instead asked "Why would the method you used not work for us?" "Well, it isn't that the method wouldn't work, just that we don't have the materials or time." Ratchet explained. "All three of us made our weapons on our own, using materials of… let's just say supernatural origins. We all poured our hearts and souls into our weapons as we made them, giving them a strong attunement to us as well as the supernatural qualities of their materials. Therefore, our weapons, alongside our already peak physicality given our human limitations and judicious use of magical enhancement, make us fully capable of surviving against most threats. You both, however, do not have the luxury of supernatural skills, arms, or armor. When we return, I will definitely get you both started on creating your own weapons, but for now we will have to give you some to borrow." Claire and Gene both blinked at this before Gene asked "If you already have a stockpile of these… supernatural weapons, then why do we need to make one?" Ratchet sighed before answering "Because the weapons aren't attuned to you. You didn't make them, nor did you have a part in their making, and as such they won't work as well for you as they would their creator. On top of that, the weapons we will give you are not personal-made weapons, but rather recreations of fictional weapons, and as such would not be as powerful as a weapon made by you, for you. Does that make any sense?" Claire and Gene nodded, neither fully believing him about the supernatural part despite the events involving the philosopher's stone earlier, but not desiring to sit through yet another explanation after the previous three. Ratchet smiled at this before turning to a nearby computer. "Jenova, bring me the portable armory, specifically the supernatural one." A feminine looking digital face appeared on the screen. "At once Mr. Clank." the face replied before disappearing, and soon after a large rack covered in a variety of weapons descended from a roof panel that suddenly opened and landed in the one empty corner of the room. Ratchet turned back to Gene and Claire and asked "Shall we get started?"

* * *

Claire was never a believer in the supernatural. She stuck to cold, hard facts, and the fact was that there is no tangible proof on magic or the like existing. Granted, that philosopher's stone thing earlier brought some doubts, but she quickly shook those off after the scientist's explanation on how it worked removed any thoughts of it having mystical powers. Gene herself also preferred reality to fantasy, though she still held a belief in it due to her family's traditional lifestyle. Despite this realistic stance, both of them could agree that there was definitely something strange about the rack of weapons before them. Neither could put this feeling into words, but every last one of the tools of war in front of them had some kind of presence to themselves, as if there was something **more** to them than the world around them. Some of the weapons looked normal despite this feeling, while others were decidedly unearthly in style, and some even looked as if they could be alive. A number of weapons interestingly were chained down behind a bullet-proof glass case while all the other weapons around said case were merely resting on displays stands. One weapon inside that case, a broadsword with flesh grown around the hilt and guard, had a single yellow eye in the fleshy growth **(2)** which, to Gene and Claire's horror, seemed to look directly at them before choosing to glare at Ratchet and Stitch with pure hatred. Ratchet glared back at the sword before walking to the end of the shelf and pressing a button on the side of the glass case, causing it to retract back into the ceiling and taking all those chained weapons back to wherever they had been stored previously. Ratchet turned back to the frozen-in-shock Gene and Claire and smiled sheepishly. "Ignore those weapons, they are nothing but troublemakers we hopefully won't ever need. The amount of trouble those things can cause **almost** outweighed our desire to try and make them." Ratchet turned back to the weapon rack to find suitable arms for Gene and Claire, and therefore missed their reactions to his comment. Gene had quickly remembered the various myths of possessed and living weapons from her culture in her head, and secretly made a gesture to ward off spirits both at where the glass case had disappeared to, and the surrounding weapons. Claire was starting to develop a mad twitch in her right eye, trying desperately to ground herself in reality and not lose her sanity after seeing an actual **sentient** weapon. Luckily, both girls managed to quell their reactions before Ratchet waved them over.

Once the two approached him he reached out and pulled a surprised Gene over and began measuring and evaluating her as if she were in a clothing store. "Hm, you are rather short for a guy, but I can tell you are also very athletic, which together means you are very quick and flexible, letting you perform what would normally be rather difficult maneuvers with some ease, as well as get under and around people's guard. I can also tell you have rather wiry muscles. I bet you can hit much harder than people would assume just by looking at you." Ratchet commented, turning back to the nearby weapon rack and missing Gene's thankful sigh that he still hadn't realized her true gender. Ratchet turned back and asked "I'm betting you would prefer a more eastern style blade over a western one?" At Gene's nod, Ratchet began pulling down weapons and examining them before placing them back, darting from shelf to shelf while mumbling to himself about blade lengths, the pros and cons of polearms versus swords, and various other details pertaining to the assorted weapons before him.

Finally, after about three minutes of going along the racks, Ratchet paused at a katana with an ornate handle and a very basic guard sheathed in an equally ornate scabbard wrapped in red ribbons. He stared at the sheathed blade before looking back at Gene, a look of contemplation on his face. "Hmm, maybe this one would do." Ratchet whispered to himself as he lifted the katana from its stand and walked back to Gene. Ratchet then handed the katana to Gene,gesturing for her to unsheath it. "Here, try this one, but be careful." Gene, slightly worried due to Ratchet's warning, slowly pulled the katana out of its sheath. Once fully revealed, Gene noticed it wasn't a true katana, but a katana/sabre hybrid. The blade was intricately engraved, but looked old and worn, as if it was used frequently, and there were even some bloodstains still trailing along it. The most curious thing to Gene was that the most prominent bloodstain was right at the base of the blade where it met the guard, as if it's previous wielder or wielders had repeatedly cut themselves while unsheathing it. All things considered, minus the bloodstains, Gene could honestly say it would be a good weapon for her. Ratchet looked rather happy as Gene inspected the weapon and when Gene turned to ask him about the weapon, he quickly cut her off. "This weapon is called Chikage **(3)** , and was wielded by hunters to fight off monsters fit for one's nightmares. It possesses strange powers that helped said hunters in battle. As it is now, it is capable of enhancing one's speed, but is otherwise a normal katana. Its true power, however, comes from an offering of blood. By letting the blade taste the very life essence of its wielder, it expands into a two-handed katana, and inflicts damage to its target's spiritual essence, it's soul, bypassing any physical, and most magical, resistance the enemy might have. Be warned though, that this power comes at a cost. It drains your life for the duration of its alternate form, though it is fortunately a small drain. Either way, it would be wise to use its true power sparingly, lest your very weapon be your undoing."

Having finished his explanation, Ratchet looked at Gene with an expectant look, waiting for her decision. Gene was obviously afraid of the blade in her hands after the last part of Ratchet's description of the weapon's powers. It certainly explained the bloodstain at the blade's base, the people who wielded it probably combined the blade's transformation with a basic iaido **(4)** slash to maximize damage. Still, regardless of its rather morbid ability, Gene could not make herself say no to wielding the Chikage. It just felt right in her hands, as if Chikage somehow _wanted_ her to wield it. 'Wait,' Gene thought, 'when did I start thinking of it as something alive?' Indeed, at some point Gene had begun thinking of the blade as more than a weapon, and that they were a perfect match. Confused at this line of thought, Gene merely nodded to Ratchet, and he seemed to relax. "Good, it would seem you want to work with Chikage as much as it wants to work with you." At Gene's confused expression, Ratchet continued talking. "As you can imagine, having a collection of mystical weapons isn't smart if just anyone could wield them. As such, Stitch and I imbued every weapon you see here with a mind. Not enough to allow sentient thought or personality mind you, unless the weapon already had it in its source material, but just enough to judge the one holding them and decide whether or not they were fit to wield them. Chikage must like what it saw in you, otherwise you wouldn't have felt right holding it even **if** it was the perfect weapon for you." Gene absently nodded at Ratchet's answer, still confused at the notion of the blade in her hands being capable of thought. In fact, if she focused hard enough, she could almost feel Chikage's presence at the back of her mind. It almost felt like a cat, lazy and yet alert, and like it had decided that she was its owner, if only for a time, instead of the other way around. Needless to say, this revelation bothered her, but she didn't get the chance to voice it as Ratchet had already moved on to repeating the process of choosing a weapon with Claire.

* * *

"Now then, you will be a bit more difficult." Ratchet said as he circled Claire, measuring her and ignoring her uncomfortable stance and focused glare. 'Honestly, it's like she is waiting for me to feel her up or something. I may be a lady's man, but I know when to reign it in, and now is the time to do so.' Ratchet thought to himself as he continued his measurements, commenting on Claire's physique and current weapons in order to determine the best weapon to let her borrow. "It is obvious you are not comfortable with close combat, no, you are much better suited in ranged combat, and when you do need to get close, you use more non lethal measures that end the fight quickly. The best possible style for a spy, saboteur, or assassin, wouldn't you agree?" Ratchet watched as Claire paled considerably, shocked he would describe her job in such a way. True, her missions as a UN agent were unfortunately similar to his description, but she wouldn't admit them as such. Still, she could confront him on that topic later, seeing as he moved on from his question, a coy grin on his face at her reaction. "Still, you would best work with a ranged weapon. Unfortunately, most of our mystical ranged weapons are bows, and I can't imagine you would be too comfortable with one." Seeing her nod from the corner of his eye, Ratchet continued talking. "While we do have some guns, they generally come in pairs, and I'm certain none of them would like being separated, and there is still the issue of close combat. Hmm, just which of our weapons would be good for you?" Ratchet finally stepped away from Claire and began shifting between the aisles of weapons, a look of intense focus on his face. Eventually he stepped back from the aisles and gestured to Stitch. "Hey Stitch, mind helping me out? I just can't seem to decide what to give Claire."

Stitch, whom was reading a novel at the time, simply smiles and nods. "All right, I think I may know just the thing that could work, if you would come with me for a second miss." Stitch says as he walks between the racks making up the armory. Claire nods and walks cautiously behind the man as he starts to mumble and shift through different weaponry, a strange circular gun that, as he put it, 'could fire miniature black holes that would devour a person whole with the right ammunition', a giant key shaped sword, and a stick which he claimed came from a magic oak **(5)**. Finally they came across a gun cabinet with Stitch turning around with a smile. "I think this would suit rather well for your tastes." he says, pressing the switch on the side of the cabinet. The cabinet opened rather slowly, revealing multiple guns to Claire's eyes, some strange and others more familiar looking. Before she could say anything, Stitch reached up and grabbed one that she could only describe as a futuristic assault rifle, taking it and weighing it in his hands. "I would recommend holding down this switch on the side and flicking the gun outward." Stitch says, demonstrating the motion to Claire. Sighing she proceeds to copy his movement, and to her surprise a blade flips out while the curved handle hinges back so it is in line with the blade and the trigger folded down, jutting out of the top of the handle, turning the gun into a sword. "That, my fair lady, is the Blazefire gunblade **(6)** , based on designs from a parallel Earth's version of a standard military weaponry. I will have to say though that this one is more so of our own design. The weapon can switch between gun and sword mode with a simple flick of the wrist, and unlike the original which could only fire either regular or, what I could only describe to you as 'Ruin' ammunition, this one can sport numerous types of different ammo, from the standard 5.56 mm to specialized magic bullets that imitate the elements, it even has healing ammo, and before you ask, yes, they do still hurt a bit. The blade itself is as strong as titanium but as light as graphite, and can cut through most materials like a hot knife through butter. Although the best feature, I must admit, is the runes that I placed on the blade itself, allowing one to utilize the elemental ammo in its sword form. Simply pull the trigger and the blade will be coated with an element, also giving it a little more kick with each swing. Do be careful with this feature though, as if you use that feature all willy nilly you are more likely to either break, dislocate, or strain various muscles and bones within your arm, 'Miss Soldier'. Finally, the proverbial 'cherry on top' is that there is a small compartment near the neck of the gun which holds a stun knife **(7)** , a knife that can cut and send anywhere from 500 to 100,000 volts into the enemy's body. After all, in close quarters combat a knife can be more useful than a gun, wouldn't you say?" Stitch says with some insane glee in his eyes, as if he was sharing a dirty secret to a close friend instead of explaining the features of an extremely deadly tool of war.

Claire stared at the blade, admiring it's work, before looking at Stitch. The report she was given for her mission told her that the three people she was sent to monitor were not to be taken lightly, regardless of their, _eccentricities._ Yet she realized now that, out of the three, Dr. Stitch Patchwork would definitely be the one she should be on guard around the most. After all, she could never read what he was thinking or going to do in the short time they had so far spent around one another. As she shifted the weapon back into gun form and placed it into the sheath/holster Stitch provided her, as well as strapping several clips of labeled ammunition for the gun to her belt, he slammed the cabinet door shut and turned to her. "Oh, by the way Miss Claire, you should know that even though Ratchet can be a little baboonish and Alice can be a little clueless, they are indeed rather perceptive, and will catch on if you try to deceive them. However, if you ever try to hurt them, I will guarantee you this." Stitch said coldly as he turned to her, his eyes glowing a menacing red as she felt the chill of death wash over her. "There will be no government alive that would be able to save you from my wrath. Do. You. Understand?" he said as he stared at her as if he was about to kill her on the spot.

Claire shivered in fear as she stiffly nodded yes, and the dark aura surrounding Stitch seemed to disappear as fast as it had appeared as he smiled. "Good, now why don't we rejoin the others, I'm sure Ratchet is dying to know what weapon I picked out for you as well as show us what he has planned for our little venture today." With a small skip in his step Stitch walked back to the other three while Claire slowly but surely readjusted herself from that horrifying experience. 'Definitely the one I should worry the most about is Stitch.' she thought as she rejoined the group outside the weapon racks, still shivering from seeing only a fraction of Stitch's darker side.

* * *

"Ah, the Blazefire, now why didn't I think of that." Ratchet commented upon seeing the weapon Stitch had chosen for Claire as the two rejoined the group next to the MDT. Giving a nod of satisfaction that everyone was as prepared as possible for their upcoming journey, Ratchet turned and grabbed a set of five devices that looked like watches, tossing two of them to Stitch and Alice before walking over to Claire and Gene. "Before we head out, you will need these" Ratchet said as he strapped the devices to Claire and Gene's wrists. "Uhh, why?" Gene asked as he finished strapping them to their wrists, noticing it didn't function like an obvious watch, its display showing two different dates and times as well as having a single red button on the top. "Those are Recall Watches. I built them as companions to the MDT. Obviously, I cannot leave the portal open for extended periods of time, lest I wreak untold damage upon the space-time continuum. Therefore, these watches get around this fact. The upper half shows the date and time of our universe, staying consistent outside of it while the lower half does the same for the target universe. That button sends out a signal using a lesser form of the process behind the MDT for Jenova to pick up, telling her to open a portal at the location of the signal. Think of it as a distress signal. It will also allow us to leave once we end our stay. So, is everyone ready to go? Splendid! Let us be off!" Without waiting for a response to his question Ratchet grabbed Claire and Gene's arms and tossed them into the MDT's portal, jumping in soon after. Stitch merely sighed at Ratchet's enthusiasm before taking Alice's hand and walked through the portal, the MDT shutting down soon after.

* * *

 _Within the Void between dimensions_

He had existed in this black expanse for many timelines, torn from reality by his own creation. It would have been a boring experience if not for his inherent curiosity and scientific mind. **_'AlThOuGh,'_** the being thought to himself, looking over to his two companions in this void, **_'I wOuLd PrEfEr ThE cOmPaNy To Be LeSs, DiSrUpTiVe.'_**. His two companions consisted of a small child and a being of similar existence to his own, though still fully intact. Thankfully, the child would disappear for a time every once in awhile, though he wished they would not return every time. Such as destructive and disturbing creature that child was. The other being thankfully never disturbed him or his work, but his existence was still an anomaly that he was denied the chance to examine, which greatly irked the scientist. He could see the child standing next to the being, who was holding something in his hands. Just when he was about to find out what, he jolted as he sensed five new presences enter the timeline. Noticing the being and child had reacted as well, he deduced that they too had felt the disturbance. Taking a quick moment to examine the new variables in the equations of the timelines, he noticed that they came from the same place as his second guest had, and returned to for a brief time. What seemed like an ear-to-ear grin came upon his face as he chuckled to himself. In a distorted voice the being said **_"It WoUlD SeEm ThAt ThIs TiMeLiNe Is GoInG tO bE vErY, vErY… iNtErEsTiNg."_**

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 ** _"WoUlDn'T yOu AlL aGrEe?..."_**

* * *

 **8-bit Thief: And there you have it! The first chapter to the next arc of Dr. Patchwork and Mr. Clank! For all of you Undertale fans, REJOICE! You probably also all figured out who's POV that last part was in, and before you ask, no, he won't have a big part in our arc. I threw that in for fun. Although that doesn't mean he won't make any more appearances! XD I also wasn't sure if I could use the correct word format for his lines and decided to just imply it through varied capitalizing as well as bolding, underlining, and italicizing his lines and thoughts. Anyway, on to the references!**

 **(1) I looked it up, and the nodachi and odachi are relatively the same type of sword, so I will be sticking with the term odachi for Ratchet's weapon of choice.**

 **(2) Yes, that is Soul Edge. Every weapon Stitch and Ratchet made are as faithful to the source material as possible. Soul Edge is sealed in that case alongside other weapons similar to it in terms of threat level out of safety, as most of them are too difficult, if not outright impossible to completely destroy. Don't worry, they did make Soul Calibur as a safety measure.**

 **(3) Yes, this is the Chikage from Bloodborne. Sorry for the somewhat simple description, but I couldn't find a detailed one for it.**

 **(4) This is reference to the typical style that most animes, comics, and other works of fiction depict most katana wielders. For those unfamiliar with the term, Iaido is the art of drawing the katana and striking at the same time, allowing for quick attacks. It also is a reference to Bloodborne itself, as an advisable tactic when using the Chikage is to transform it and use its chargeable R2 attack mid transformation, halving the normally high self-damage said move does and bypassing the transforming animation, letting you get back to the fight quicker.**

 **(5) In order, these are references to Blackstar, Kingdom Hearts, and Ni No Kuni Wrath of the White Witch.**

 **(6) The initial weapon for Lightning in FF-XIII, with our own little alterations.**

 **(7) The knife from Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots.**

 **8-bit Thief: Sorry for the wait on this chapter, but in exchange we went all out on it. Also, if you are wondering about the line breaks, I'm experimenting on different format styles for the chapters. Hopefully this story will not only become well-loved, but also document mine and my colleague's growth in skill when it comes to writing. Can't wait to give you guys the next chapter.**

 **themadDrPatchwork: In all honestly, Thief here is the one who grew the most, he is particularly amazing and always astounds me whenever I start to have doubts, in fact without him we would have never posted the first chapter of this tale. It's been amazing to see how well he has grown, also in other news we may expand this project to other sites, don't worry though, we will always post our work here first.**

 **8-bit Thief: Thanks for the compliment my friend. Now, let's wrap this chapter up.**

 **Together: SEE YOU IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OF DR. PATCHWORK AND MR. CLANK! JA NE!**


	9. UT ARC chapter 2

**ThemadDrPatchwork: Hello dear readers, it's us again, your lovable duo of writers here starting up with this glorious start to the new arc, again we want to apologize for the delay, we had finals and that is a whole nightmare in itself.**

 **8-Bit Thief: Indeed it is. Now, I hope you all are ready, cause we are diving into the world of Undertale headfirst! I feel some clarification is needed before we begin. We will not be giving Frisk a concrete gender, though Chara we agree will be male. Therefore, we will be using gender neutral terms wherever our favorite fallen child is involved. If you want to give Frisk a gender, just substitute the terms where you wish. Also, Frisk will be mute, and will communicate through sign language, which we will signify using [these symbols around their lines].**

 **Themaddrpatchwork: And for anyone who complains about Frisk's lack of gender then just consider him/her a hermaphrodite (just google it). Hopefully we don't get many complaints, but you know the internet nowadays…*sigh*.**

 **8-Bit Thief: Indeed, it seems nothing is safe on the Internet. Luckily we are doing this because we wish to, and not to satisfy the unsatisfiable. Anyway, let's get started.**

 **Both: WE HOPE YOU ENJOY THE SHOW!**

* * *

Flowey was very annoyed. The child was still dead set on defying the 'kill-or-be-killed' mentality he tried to instill. Heck, the child was befriending that idiotic skeleton, despite the fight they just had! No matter, Flowey was positive that the kid would finally give in against Undyne, though even then he was slightly worried. This kid, despite being burned by flames, bashed by bones, and literally getting shards of magic striking their soul, still refused to FIGHT, it was like this kid was some sort of combat masochist! Flowey, though he hated to admit it, was somewhat impressed, after all this was a kid who's SOUL consisted mainly of DETERMINATION after all, and therefore more stubborn than that comedian was lazy. Who knows what the full extent of what they could do is… or what any monster who managed to finally beat the kid and get their hands on their SOUL would be capable of. That was why Flowey was following, to make sure the monster who gets the kid's SOUL was HIM. After all, he would be the one to perform regicide and take control of the Underground for good. He was just about to start laughing at his brilliant plan when a flash of light cut him off. Turning around, the demonic flower bore witness to five more humans, two were looking around dazed and confused, one dressed like some kind of warrior and the other a soldier, one was dressed in a conservative dress and looking around in wonder, and the last two were staring at him, one dressed in a stitched labcoat with amusement and the other dressed in a red coat with a smirk he didn't like. "Well well, if it isn't our good 'friend', Flowey the flower. Hey Stitch, what say we do some weeding?" the smirking one, who Flowey would later learn was named Ratchet, said, first to him, then to the man next to him. Flowey was confused and worried. How did this human know who he was? Did he have similar abilities to that annoying comedian? Either way, Flowey wouldn't let him or his group interfere. He could see their SOULs, but for some reason the were cycling through different colors rather than displaying one or more prominently, something Flowey had never seen before. Still, that means he could initiate a battle, which he did with a small pack of 'friendliness pellets' at the smirking one. Ratchet immediately moved his mechanical arm to block, and Flowey saw his SOUL briefly flash green before cycling back the moment the bullets hit, preventing his SOUL from taking damage. Flowey waited a moment, but then noticed the usual battle pop ups didn't appear, though he could see the standard hitbox. The other one, who he assumed was Stitch, simply smiled and said "Well I haven't had time to polish my green thumb in a while so sure, why not." Pulling out a scalpel Stitch then sliced at the air, at first nothing happened but then Flowey suddenly took damage. At first he didn't understand, he shouldn't have taken any damage, that attack only took a small amount of the hitbox, was nowhere near him, and even then he would have been able to dodge it easily just like any other attack, but what he wouldn't realize till later was that the attack did hit him directly, he just didn't see it due to it being blended into the background of the hitbox. Confused and worried at this development, Flowey quickly ducked down into the ground, not noticing he narrowly dodged Ratchet's slice with his odachi. Flowey decided to simply observe from a distance and attack at the best opportunity.

* * *

Ratchet frowned as Flowey slipped away and sheathed his odachi. "Darn it, that was our best chance to take care of one of the bigger threats here. Now we won't see him again for quite some time." Stitch meanwhile simply placed the scalpel back into his coat with an annoyed look. "Well, he no doubt is going to be paying attention to us now. Oh well, maybe next time" he sighed as he simply shook his head and shrugged. Meanwhile in the background of the fight Gene and Claire were busy trying to comprehend just what happened while Alice on the other hand started walking towards the two with an annoyed face. With a strange quickness and equal ferocity she grabbed the two painfully by the ears. "I thought that we were going to at least manage to get through this without the demonic flower goat child of death following us and maybe reaping our souls." she shouted angrily as the two said ow repeatedly trying in some way to free themselves from the vice grip of death she had. Gene was the first to come around by summing up the whole thing as something she would not fully understand until later on. With some caution she walked up to the bickering trio and simply placed her hand on Alice's shoulder. "Excuse me, but could you please let go of Dr. Patchwork's ear, I think me and Claire would like to know what's going on." she asked calmly. "Hey what about me?!" Ratchet asked, rather annoyed at being left out. "Sorry, and Mr. Clank as well." Gene added, not sounding too apologetic for excluding him. Sighing, Alice finally let go of their earlobes, which allowed the two to get back up and face the rest of the group. Claire walked up and whacked Ratchet on the head. "Ow! What was that for?" he asked, childishly rubbing his head. "That was for throwing me through that machine of yours! Now what is going on? What was that weird grayscale box, and, more importantly, why was there a, apparently sentient, sunflower TRYING TO KILL US!?" "Alright, first off, Flowey is not a sunflower. An official identifier isn't known, but in design he is similar to the platystemon californicus, or the creamcup, but the 'golden flowers' that he was 'born' from have more in common with the plant genus ulex, commonly referred to as gorse, furze, or whin. **(1)** " Ratchet stated, only to be hit again by Claire. After recovering again, he quickly said "Alright, alright, I get it, cut back on the scientific jargon. To answer your questions, that grayscale box is the field of battle here. Within that box, attacks will damage your SOUL instead of your body, though you are capable of dodging, which, interestingly, is a skill used only by humans and one other monster. Strangely, the combat prompts didn't appear, so that means we can attack whenever instead of via turn-based combat. The flower was Flowey, a flower containing the soul of the dead prince of the underground, who has been driven mad by his isolation, as well as another reason I will get into later. He seeks to collect seven human SOULs so as to become a 'god', and is quite willing to go to extreme lengths to do so. Finally, we are here to try and make sure that the current fallen child, Frisk, gets the best possible future for themself and both monster and humankind."

* * *

Claire and Gene looked incredulously at Ratchet as he finished explaining their purpose there. "Wait, you are saying we are here to save the world?" Claire asked. At Ratchet's nod, Gene fainted from the huge goal while Claire said "I need something to drink." Ratchet opened up a panel on his mechanical arm and pulled out a silver flask, one that was surreptitiously taken and chugged by Claire. She soon finished, letting out a sigh as the slight burn of alcohol ran down her throat and tossed the flask back to Ratchet. Deftly catching it, he turned it upside down, and to his dismay not a single drop came out. Placing the flask back in his arm and closing the compartment, he then reached down and lifted Gene onto his shoulder. "Alright, we don't know exactly when we are here in terms of storyline, but given Flowey doesn't stray far from Frisk, I would say we are at least at the beginning of the Undyne segment, which means we need to catch up quickly. No time for dawdling, let's go." said Ratchet, setting into a brisk jog into the waterfall area of the underground with the surprisingly light Gene on his shoulder, Alice, Stitch and Claire following behind quickly, with slight hesitation on Claire's part.

* * *

Walking on through, the group failed to notice that a certain flower resurfaced with a somewhat confused but joyful look on his face. "They're from another world? Interesting." the devil flower said, interested in the situation. "Well, even if this comes back to bite me in the rear, it will definitely be grand to obtain more than the needed seven SOULS. Forget being the god of this world, it might give me the power to rule the universe, maybe even the multiverse." it said, laughing wickedly. "Well if worse comes to worst I could always use 'that' and just take care of them one by one." The flower smiled even darker as two vines came up pulling what seemed to be a SAVE point. Yet this had a more wicked purpose, one that could potentially net him at least one human SOUL. Laughing once more, Flowey smiled and disappeared, not noticing that he was being watched in the shadows by a duo of individuals.

 **" _WeLl tHaT WaS InTEresTING WaSn'T It_ _?_** _**yOu tHInK ThIS WiLl bE fUn EnOUgh** **?** **"**_ the shorter of the two said with glints of red flickering every time they spoke. " _ **Indeed, this will be more fun now that he has his eyes set on them. In other words it would bring enough power to bring you back to full power, not to mention the fact that it would be more than enough for anyone to control the world… no, the multiverse in fact. Alas, only a monster can utilize the full strength of them. Of course, that is the reason that you manipulated those two, one a reincarnation, the other a phantom, one to die and the other to absorb the other's SOUL. Kinda cruel if you ask me, but hey, you are the one that is without a soul"**_ The other said rather nonchalantly with white flecks acting as his eyes in the shadows. _**"** **WeLl , **__**ThEN AgAIn**_ _ **,**_ _ **wE HAvE tO wORry AbOuT ThaT GrOUp.** **ThAT'S WhY We WiLl jUsT SiT BaCk AnD WaTcH tHe EvEnTs PlAy oUt**_ ** _."_** The shorter one said with a grin, and as quick as they appeared the two vanished without a trace.

* * *

 **ThemadDrPatchwork: Well that one was a doozy… what will happen next, who are the two shadowy individuals that are watching this horrid display of events unfold, will Claire be able to get through this sober, will Alice be able to keep a handle on the devious duo, will Gene ever be fully recognized as the Mulan that she is? Find out next time on DRAGON BALL GHak*(gets knocked out by 8-bit Thief)**

 **8-bit Thief: OI! I THOUGHT WE AGREED** _ **I**_ **WOULD DO THAT! Anyway, yes this chapter was a doozy, despite its shortness. I will only say family matters and leave it at that. Truth be told, I don't even know who this mysterious duo is, though I have suspicions. This chapter is written mostly by my compatriot, so he is clearly throwing in plot stuff I didn't know of. Now then, on to references.**

 **1)I actually did research (read: checking forums) and found that most people agree that those are the closest flowers to both Flowey and the golden flowers.**

 **8-bit Thief: Also, for those confused on the beginning, it was Flowey's POV, so he wouldn't know who we were and just go by our looks. That is how the other characters will be till they learn our names.**

 **Both: SEE YOU ALL NEXT TIME! JA NE!**


	10. Second Apology and Omake

Claire watched as Stitch consulted with Jenova about gaining access to the fabrication room in the fortress in order to build her weapon. Ratchet had Stitch use the philosopher's stone to create a pile of uncut gemstones yesterday the size of a human body that he stashed in a large bag before leaving with Gene to what was once Pompeii. When Claire asked, Stitch merely said "Ratchet's gonna need those to make the greedy little buggers part with their metals. Luckily we already have a rapport with them, otherwise he would have needed a _lot_ more." Stitch had just got Jenova to send a 5-ton stack of titanium ingots to the fabrication room when Claire spoke up. "How did he do it?" Stitch turned at looked at Claire. "How did who do what?" "Jenova, the A.I., how did Ratchet do it?" Stitch sighed and looked up at the roof. "Now that, is an interesting story, and one I want you to swear never to reveal to anyone." Claire nodded quickly at Stitch's demand and swore her silence. Stitch then sighed and said "It was about 10 years ago."

* * *

 _Flashback, Unknown Location_

"Stitch, you sure about this?" Ratchet asked as he tugged at the monkey suit he was wearing with his _human_ right hand, his red labcoat sitting on a coat rack nearby, Stitch stood next to him in a matching suit and staring at the massive oak doors before them. Stitch merely adjusted his bow tie and said "We don't really have a choice. We either go in there, or we will be hunted to the ends of the Earth by people who want us dead." "Stitch, you know I already have a fully operational spaceship with a warp drive thanks to my quantum studies specifically _for_ situations like this." Stitch gave Ratchet a look before putting his hand in the pocket of his dress pants, checking that its contents were still there. "I know that, but we both know these guys wouldn't give up just because we are no longer in the solar system. The only reason we weren't brought here years ago is because we never do things the usual way. So you are going in there to back me up, or so help me God, I will make sure you suffer for the rest of eternity regardless of the outcome that happens inside this room." "Fine, but that doesn't mean I think this is a good idea." Stitch shrugged and pushed the doors in front of him open, and the two stepped into the next room.

* * *

The room was dominated by a tall crescent-shaped desk, nine men and women seated along it, each at various states of age. The only shared trait between them all was a red jacket with the Flamel Crest from Fullmetal Alchemist hung on the back of their chairs, and the three sitting at the center of the desk had a red stone in front of them. The man at the very center of the table, an elderly man with long white hair and a beard that could rival Dumbledore's in length, stared down at Stitch and Ratchet with sharp, gray eyes.

"Acolyte Patchwork," the man half-said half-wheezed, though the words rang clear throughout the room, "you stand before the current elders and council members of the Flamel Institute. You were offered an apprenticeship within our organization in order to learn the subtle and delicate art of alchemy. And now, you claim to have accomplished one of the greatest acts in the history of our art; the creation of a philosopher's stone. Do you have proof of this claim?"

Stitch tensed slightly before pulling his hand out of his pocket. The six council members without a stone before them showed various signs of surprise and shock upon seeing the red rock in his hand, while the elderly man and the two council members next to him, a 47-year old Russian man with manic blue eyes, light brown combed hair, and a ragged beard and a woman with soft green eyes who looked equally as old as the elderly man, her white hair tied in a bun, merely narrowed their eyes. "Can you confirm the authenticity of Dr. Patchwork's stone elder Rasputin?" the elderly man said to the Russian next to him. Rasputin nodded and held his hand out, and Stitch hesitantly stepped forward and passed him the stone. Rasputin turned the rock in his hand before picking up the near-identical stone in front of him and held both up to his face.

After a minute of staring at the red rocks, Rasputin set his stone down on the table and handed the other back to Stitch and turned to the elderly man next to him. "I can confirm elder Nicholas, acolyte Patchwork does in fact possess a philosopher's stone. However, it does not feel like our own stones, or that of elder Perenelle. I cannot hear even a single soul within it. I will admit I am greatly curious as to why that is." The elderly man, elder Nicholas, raised his eyebrows, while the woman, elder Perenelle, leaned forward to look at Stitch better and spoke. "Intriguing. Acolyte Patchwork, can you explain elder Rasputin's observation?"

Stitch relaxed slightly and gestured to Ratchet, who was so far fidgeting uncomfortably under the stares of the council, saying "Elder Perenelle, the reason behind elder Rasputin's observation is because my stone was not created using the method most are familiar with due to the efforts of mentor Hiromu **(1)**. Instead, my stone was made using a different method discovered by myself and my companion Ratchet N. Clank that is both safer and more dangerous than the conventional method." Elder Nicholas frowned at Stitch's words. "Explain acolyte Patchwork. How was your stone created, and why was a person with no affiliation to the Flamel Institute involved?" Stitch winced at the veiled accusation, as well as the hushed whispers amongst the council at the elder's question.

Stitch knew everyone connected to the institute had been personally approached by a mentor with permission from a council member. Ratchet's presence in the council room was the first time a non-alchemist had stepped foot on the institute's ground in centuries, and for good reason. The last time an uninitiated arrived at the institute, they had brought a religious force in order to 'purge the heresy that is alchemy from this world'. After the attackers were killed off, the council members at the time had approached one of the magical academies in order to place a spell upon the grounds, preventing anybody not informed by an institute member from seeing, or even knowing of, the school. It was only because he was with Stitch, a well-known and beloved student of alchemy, that Ratchet had not been evicted immediately with his memories removed to protect the school's anonymity, or worse, killed. Stitch knew he would have to word his answer correctly if he and Ratchet were to leave safely.

"Honored council," Stitch began, "the creation of my philosopher's stone was truthfully the accidental result of a fight between myself and Ratchet. The two of us had utilized Ratchet's transporter to settle our argument at the time on an uninhabited planet, as we both knew we would come to blows and we each have abilities and skills that could risk the integrity of Earth should they be used. During our fight, one of Ratchet's chaos-oriented spells had impacted the system's star. The star destabilized, and began to expand, threatening both of our lives. Ratchet and I set aside our mutual dislike with each other in order to prevent the system's destruction. Together we managed to reverse the star's expansion, but now it was collapsing at an unsafe rate and would have soon gone supernova, taking the system with it. In a last-ditch effort of survival, and accepting the potential consequences, I used alchemy to convert the planet we were on into a container for the star, utilizing the energy released by the star to power the container's durability. The act was successful, and I and Ratchet now stood on a massive orb, a supernova right below our feet. The two of us rejoiced at avoiding certain death, and then our scientific minds began to work. The land beneath our feet was, in essence, the strongest battery in existence. We planned and returned to our lab, where we used a combination of alchemy and creation magic to create a self-sustaining miniature star. We then contained it using rubies the same way I trapped the supernova, and this time I added an array to allow us to leak out energy in a variety of forms as well as insuring the star lasts forever to generate power. This means my stone is capable of acting as a perfect alchemical battery, but is incapable of creating the elixir of immortality due to its lack of souls. That is how my philosopher's stone was created, and why Ratchet N. Clank is present here. Despite being uninitiated, he is as equally responsible for the creation of my philosopher's stone as I am." Patchwork finished with a tone of authority.

Ratchet meanwhile was trying his best to not make several Harry Potter or FMA references. With some skepticism in mind, elder Nicholas then turned his attention to Ratchet. "Mr. Clank, as you know, we highly doubt that a person of your caliber could co-create such a powerful artifact. As far as this council knows, your specialty lies in the field of robotics and machinery. In all honesty we would be more accepting of the fact that you truly created genuine artificial intelligence than a philosopher's stone." The elder responded with a condescending tone.

Ratchet merely smiled and said "Truthfully I'm working on it. The tricky part is giving it a form of mental autonomy given it is just programming. I have not quite managed to do so. But just because I'm a scientist does not mean I am unfamiliar with the esoteric." Ratchet then conjured a ball of flames in his right hand a color that could only be described as a void. "I am, after all, one of the few _human_ practitioners of chaos magic, which, of course, is only capable when paired with creation magic, and both are extremely taxing upon the mind, body, and soul." The council shuddered at the flames that were just inherently _wrong_ held in the scientist's hand. "Quite." elder Nicholas managed to choke out, "Very well, we rescind our objections. All those in favor of inducting acolyte Patchwork into the council as per the standard rules of our institute…and initiating Mr. Clank as a…honorary member of our order, raise your hands."

The full council raised their hands, the non-elders because they did not want to piss off a chaos-walker **(2)** , and the elders because, while they knew they could handle a chaos-walker, they did not wish to waste the power of their stones in order to do so. Elder Nicholas observed the results and nodded. "Very well. Acolyte Patchwork, you are now officially recognized as a member of the council. You will obtain your formal attire from the institute within the week. Mr. Clank, you are now officially an honorary member of the Flamel Institute. I do hope you prove this was not a terrible decision." Ratchet merely performed a two-fingered salute and elder Nicholas sighed. "This may not be a good idea, but we shall now move on to the customary induction party."

* * *

"Hang on." Stitch was pulled out of his story at Claire's statement. "What is it Claire?" "This is a fascinating story, but what does it have to do with Ratchet creating Jenova?" Stitch frowned. "I was about to get to that." Claire had the decency to apologize. "Oh, sorry. Continue then." Stitch looked at her for a few more moments before continuing his story.

* * *

The party was in full swing, especially when Rasputin performed the old biblical trick and used his stone to turn all the drinks into wine. Ratchet immediately endeared himself to the Russian afterwards when he used the entropy aspect of chaos magic to age their drinks a few thousand years. Rasputin claimed it was the best drink he had since his alchemical vodka. Pretty soon Rasputin was drunk and had half the unattached women sitting by him. Stitch noticed Ratchet had scraped off a few chunks of Rasputin's stone when he was distracted, but didn't point it out. The elders missed it because they were more focused on Rasputin being up to his old vices again and fixing the drinks back to normal. Meanwhile, Stitch was dealing with a rather unusual boy with his ginger friend and their invisibility cloak, which sadly didn't completely cover the two **(3)**. "Now listen here Barry." "Harry." "WHATEVER! Henry, you were required to go back to your dorms at around 8, and I don't want to be the one to deal with that annoying old quarter master, so run back to bed. And I'm keeping the cloak!" Patchwork said as he pointed to the door, which the two underage students begrudgingly walked through.

Sighing to himself, Stitch pulled out his own drink (He NEVER trusted drinking punch or anything liquid that was served out in the open at a party when Ratchet was around, not since the New Year's incident back in college, he still feels bad for those chickens and sororities.) as he casually sprayed some dust into a fireplace and threw the cloak into the now green fire. Turning around he bumped into a surprised young woman. "Oh, sorry miss…" "Arakawa." "Miss Arakawa, I was just dealing with a rather annoying chosen one and his countryside bumpkin of a friend. I still honestly have no idea why he and his friend were allowed to join when they have almost no skill at alchemy. I think it had to do with one of elder Flamel's failed stones." He said annoyingly as he then looked at the woman leaning on the nearby wall to try and figure out where he had seen her before. "I'm sorry miss, but what did you major in here?" He asked, still trying to figure out who she was. "Oh I'm not a student, I just came here to try and get some references on alchemy for my series." she said rather enthusiastically. "Oh, you must be a part of the group mentor Hiromu invites every once in a while." Stitch said intrigued, as he bowed politely. The two talked for a little bit before a loud crash was heard, turning to the noise the two paled, Hiromu for the horror she was witnessing, Stitch on the other hand paled out of embarrassment.

Standing across the room, drunk on magic wine, were several of the elders, stripped to their underwear and wearing black cloaks. They were running around drunkenly yelling "I'm a dementor here to bother your soul!" before shoving people **(4)**. What was worse was the fact that Ratchet was leading this group, a magical glamour on him to look like Voldemort. "I'm sorry, but I need to take care of this." Stitch said darkly as he pulled out a scalpel. While Ratchet and Rasputin were bothering a clearly panicking Harry, who had again snuck back into the party, Ratchet turned to see Stitch coming at him with a dark expression. Sadly for Harry, he would never be rid of the screams of terror that he heard, nor the horror of the acts the mad doctor had done to his friend and elder.

* * *

"I'm sorry to interrupt again. I'm sure this is a truly fascinating story, but do you think you could get to the point." Stitch frowned at Claire's blunt statement, but nonetheless agreed. He had got a bit deep into the events of the day. "Very well. The A.I.s were built from the fragments Ratchet took from Rasputin's stone. It took him a few tries to get it right. Too much and the A.I. had too much free will, too little and it wouldn't work. Combine that with his hobby of building the originals like A.I.s from mass media, and you can guess we had some close calls. But that is for another day. We should get started on building your weapon." Claire nodded at Stitch's statement, and the two began walking to the fabrication room where Claire's weapon would be built.

* * *

 **8-bit Thief: Welp, here is our apology for the lateness of our next chapter. We hope you enjoy. Also, I would like to state that all omakes are to be considered canon. These omakes are meant as much for world-building as they are as apologies and entertainment. If we make an omake that is not canon to the main story, it will be marked at the beginning of the chapter.**

 **themadDrPatchwork: Sorry about all this, my muse is currently running around like a chicken with its head chopped off, and I have been working on a few stories on the side. I will be sending more of my stories up soon.**

 **8-bit Thief: Also, I have finally learned the rules of dialogue. Next chapter will not follow these rules, as it is almost complete and I don't wish to go through and edit it, but the chapter afterwards, the next chapter of my Gundam story, and all future chapters will be written by us following those rules as best as possible. That said, onto the marked references.**

 **(1) Hiromu is the name of the creator of Fullmetal Alchemist. Yes, that means we are implying FMA was written to get more prospective students for the Flamel Institute. This also means we will be following the stated alchemy rules given in FMA, with our own tweaks.**

 **(2) Our story has a very interesting ranking system for magic wielders. There is the standard apprentice, student, journeyman, expert, and all of those, but we are adding an extra: walker. A walker is a person who is so skilled at a specific aspect of magic that they can quite literally become one with it, wielding it with little to no magic. The reason for the name is that they are said to 'walk' alongside their element (i.e. pyromancy=fire-walker). Certain branches have multiple uses, and therefore different walker classes (i.e. necromancy: death magic=death-walker, undead magic=grave-walker). Chaos and creation are interesting because they are tied together. In order to keep natural balance, there can never be an uneven number of chaos magic practitioners to creation magic practitioners. Eventually it was decided each member were taught their counterpart magic to insure balance. More will be explained later, especially the details on what chaos and creation magic can DO, especially in terms of a walker like Ratchet.**

 **(3) Yes, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were allowed into the Flamel Institute after the events of book 1 in our story. It's a summer schooling program for them, as the institute does not teach magic. If you are wondering why the sole female of the 'golden trio' was absent, Hermione was in the institute's expansive library.**

 **(4) If you get the drunken dementor scene you'll know it's from Harry Potter and the ohh something shiny, and bothering is from Potter puppet pals.**

 **8-bit Thief: Well, that's all I can think of. Therefore…**

 **Both: We will be seeing you all in the next chapter! JA NE!**


	11. UT ARC chapter 3

**themadDrPatchwork: Whew, this was a doozy. Well folks, after taking a little time off to be with family and to handle an existential crisis, we are back. Though hopefully this time the chapter will be a bit longer than normal, it all depends.**

 **8-bit Thief: A little time Stitch. A LITTLE time?! Sweet Jesus this chapter has been delayed to hell and back! Between the hurricane, holidays, and our muses collectively saying "SCREW YOU!" and fighting us tooth and nail, this chapter has been built up piece by piece since summer! But it is finally here. HALLELUJAH IT IS FINALLY HERE! Also, we plan to drop our update schedule. Frankly, we stress ourselves trying to keep up and feel our writing suffers because of it, so not having a deadline will most likely mean our chapters will be better, and longer too. By the way, give it up for our excellent beta, SilverNyan!**

 **SilverNyan: Just a simple bard. With the simplest of dreams. Wandering away.**

 **8-bit Thief: …Quite. Anyway, let's get on with the show!**

* * *

Somewhere in waterfall:

The gang of interdimensional travelers walked on in unknowing bliss of their multiple watchers with various intents. They soon came to a halt in front of a bridge of plants. "Oh no, I am not crossing that!" Claire cried out in defiance of the ridiculous assertion that it was alright to cross the bridge of plants. "Claire, I assure you that these plants will support you. They are a special breed of plants that, when all four are lined up in a row, they will bloom and form a stable bridge." Ratchet calmly said before turning thoughtful. "They should reset after a time, so that means we are not far behind Frisk." "Look, I don't care what you say, there is no possible way those flowers can hold our weight!" Claire yelled at Ratchet, not noticing that Stitch and Alice were already on the other side with Gene following behind. Alice yelled to Ratchet and Claire "Hey! You guys gonna keep bickering or are we gonna keep going? Don't forget we got a kid to save!" The two turned and Claire gaped at seeing Gene walking along the flower bridge. Noticing Ratchet grinning out the corner of her eye, Claire muttered a soft "shut up." before crossing the bridge, a smug Ratchet right behind her.

* * *

Frisk was panicking as they continued to dodge the spears, running along the pillared path as the bridge's end was coming up soon, this was definitely not a good idea, if only Papyrus hadn't lied about what they were wearing, they even put on a tutu as part of a disguise to throw the rampant spear thrower off, sadly though that was not to be, luckily for the fallen child they saw a blessing in the form of bush up ahead. Madly dashing ahead, the child dove directly into the wild bush. Cowering as they heard the thumping of the metal feet, and then silence as they heard a rustling in the bushes near them. When they finally peeked from behind the hands they were using to cover their face, they were surprised to see the armless lizard-like monster, Monster Kid, the child remembered, being lifted up by the metal hand of the terrifying royal guard captain, then the spear wielder walked off, dragging Monster Kid behind them.

For a few seconds the child was honestly surprised at their good fortune, then honestly wondered how long their fortune was going to last, as they heard several voices approaching their hiding place. "...and I'm telling you for the hundredth time they will be fine Claire." a somewhat dignified voice said as a worried one responded "Well still, since you said that they would be pummeled to death by spears, forgive me if I sound a little panicked." Now the child was confused, were these monsters? Taking a small peek out from the bush, the child came face to face with a young girl in front of them, and let out a small shout of surprise. The girl smiled before grabbing Frisk's sleeve and dragged them away, disregarding their struggling to get away.

"Hey, I found Frisk!" Alice yelled to the rest of the group, dragging a terrified Frisk behind her. "Alice, don't you realize you are terrifying Frisk? You should think about what they have gone through so far before acting like you did." Stitch said, causing Alice to let go of Frisk's sleeve and look down. "Sorry." "Alice, you know I am not the one you should be saying that to." At this, Alice turned to Frisk and stuck out her hand. "Sorry about scaring you like that, I was just glad to see you were ok. My name's Alice!" Frisk stared at the hand and slowly reached out to shake it, before signing with their other hand [Hi Alice. Thanks for the apology.] At this, Alice looked confused before Ratchet said "He says thanks for the apology. It appears Frisk is mute." Alice looked at Ratchet in surprise. "I didn't know you knew sign language." "Well, when your high school roommate is both deaf and mute, you quickly learn how to, well, 'speak' it." Ratchet responded back, smiling at his unintended pun to everyone's annoyance, though Frisk seemed to hide a slight giggle behind their hands. "Well, it seems someone here likes puns. Nice to see someone appreciate my humour." "Your 'humour' is tasteless and terrible Ratchet." "I know, it's just nice to see someone laughing at my jokes." "I can understand the point, given that your jokes often are worse than the so called 'dad jokes'." Frisk eventually stopped giggling and signed [You remind me of a skeleton I met some time ago named Sans.] "Well, he must be a _sans_ ational skeleton to be able to tickle your _funny bone_. _Tibia_ honest, I would rather like to meet this Sans, he sounds interesting." Everybody groaned at the horrible puns while Frisk doubled over in laughter, completely forgetting the terrifying events they were just a part of. Ratchet smiled as he saw Frisk start to loosen up. 'They must have been extremely stressed out from being chased by Undyne' he thought to himself.

Patchwork slowly walked forward and crouched in front of Frisk. "Please, could you allow me to examine your body for any damage you may have suffered during your ordeal?" he asked calmly. Frisk on the other hand started to gesture with their hands

[Why sir, if you wanted to see me naked all you had to do was ask.] before turning their head to giggle slightly. Ratchet on the other hand grew nervous and fidgety at Frisk's statement, and grew even more uncomfortable when Frisk started to sign again [Although I guess I don't mind having a crowd, I don't discriminate against either gender.] After translating with a slightly red face, most of the crew either outright blushed or simply looked shocked at Frisk's bluntness. Patchwork on the other remained stoic and simply took Frisk's hand to check their pulse. "First of all I'm a doctor, secondly…if you want a more thorough examination then I could do so for you later if you'd like." He said flirtatiously with a wink. It was then Frisk who turned bright red, turning their head in embarrassment. Patchwork simply smiled while the other dimensional travelers were still trying to process what had just transpired, Ratchet was even turning a little green from the FLIRTing match between Patchwork and Frisk. "By the way, you have a long way to go before you can even think of outFLIRTing me young one." Stitch added to a still blushing Frisk before turning to the rest of the group. "Overall Frisk just has a few scrapes here and there, nothing major that I can discern from my current examination." Patchwork stated professionally, as if the last few events had never happened. Ratchet, finally managing to recompose himself, nodded and said "That is good, and please, don't ever do that again Stitch, simply translating for Frisk felt wrong on so many levels, and you FLIRTing back made it even more uncomfortable, what with Frisk being a young…huh, that reminds me." Ratchet then turns to Frisk and asks "Are you a girl or a boy? You are wearing gender neutral clothes and colors, and you're clearly too young for your body figure to give any clues. Given how easily you were…FLIRTing with Stitch, I would guess girl?" Ratchet shuddered a bit at the mention of Frisk's FLIRTing. Frisk merely giggled before signing with practiced ease [I'm a kid.], a bemused look on their face as if making an inside joke. Ratchet groaned and said "I'm not going to get anything more specific, am I?" At Frisk's smirk, he merely groaned again before saying "Well then _kid_ , I guess you are stuck with us for now. The only way out is through the barrier, so we might as well stick together for safety. My name is Ratchet, the doctor is Stitch, the two behind me are Gene and Claire, and the girl who brought you here is Alice."

* * *

Frisk smiled at the thought of the group joining them before a look of confusion crossed their face. [How did you know I was here?] Frisk signed. Ratchet immediately responded "We were moving to the nearby city when we saw you climbing Mt. Ebbot. Knowing the myths surrounding the place, we rushed to catch up." Claire and Gene sent discreet glances at Ratchet for the sudden statement, but Stitch and Alice stopped them from speaking up. Frisk seemed suspicious, but accepted the response and started walking, Alice running to walk next to them while Stitch followed behind. Ratchet walked behind the group while Claire and Gene walked beside him. "Why did you tell Frisk that?" Gene asked, out of Frisk's hearing. "Because, would you believe someone if they said 'we are here from an alternate universe on a mission to make this one better'? Trust me, better if Frisk doesn't know the truth, if only for their sanity." Ratchet responded, before speed-walking to catch up to the rest of the group, Claire and Gene right behind him. Frisk was a little worried that Undyne might show up again, and jumped when they felt a hand on their shoulder. "Worried about something?" Ratchet asked, and Frisk nodded. Ratchet smiled a bit and said "Don't worry, I am going to make sure all of us will get out of this safe and sound. That is a promise, and I never break a promise." Frisk smiled at Ratchet's declaration and the group continued on. Unknown to Ratchet, his soul had stopped cycling through colors, and for a moment stopped at a dark blue color before returning to its cycling.

* * *

Despite this conundrum that they were in Stitch still felt like something was rather…off. Well it would have to wait for now though, he had to make sure that everyone was in tip top condition for what laid in wait ahead, and judging from the group, they would likely not be able to run as fast as Sonic the Hedgehog…yet. 'Note to self, see if I could get that fat disgrace of a scientist to get me some of that blue jerk's DNA ASAP, then find some…'participants' to 'volunteer' for this experiment' Stitch thought as he grinned rather maliciously. Ratchet held up a hand and stopped the group. "I think we should stop here for a time. We are probably all tired and hungry from wandering the underground, so how about we take a break?" "Sure, I could go for something right about now!" Alice exclaimed rather cheerfully. "But we may be ambushed by monsters if we were to stop now, eating should be the last thing on our minds right about…" Gene never finished her statement as her stomach finished it for her with a loud growl. Ratchet laughed before saying "I guess that settles things! I'll get a fire started. That should ward off any lesser threats. Stitch, you see if you can find anything to eat." "Sure thing, Claire, Gene, I trust that you two will make sure the camp is safe, and that Ratchet does not start cooking, after all we already have monsters to worry about, the last thing we need is to try and kill another one of his 'meatloafs'." Stitch said rather seriously as he eyed Ratchet with slight unease as memories of fighting that particular horrid food attempt, and the aftermath of it as well. 'So many sheep died that day.' He thought to himself. Ratchet let out an indignant shout at Stitch's comment before returning to his hunt for firewood, grumbling to himself about not being THAT bad at cooking.

An hour later the group was settled around a campfire eating a delicious soup Stitch had made. The group conversed with each other and Frisk slowly seemed to relax around everyone, as if a weight was lifted from their shoulders. Stitch passed a piece of white chocolate he had to Frisk and Alice, and both munched happily on the delicious chocolate while Stitch's soul stopped briefly on a green color before continuing to cycle through the other SOUL colors. Next to Frisk, a yellow four-pointed star appeared while a voice in Frisk's head said 'Surrounded by others by a campfire makes you confident about facing the trials ahead. You are filled with DETERMINATION.' Frisk was surprised at the sudden comment, but quickly smiled as Alice turned to ask him a question which they cheerfully answered with Ratchet translating. Soon after the group finished their food and fell asleep around the fire. Frisk and Alice slept curled next to each other, and Ratchet laughed quietly before looking out to keep watch for trouble and keep the fire going. Stitch sat quietly figuring out what to make for breakfast when they woke up, maybe some french toast or waffles, or maybe a creme brulay, either way it would be delicious. With that he started to nod off in the corner. Claire laid awake for a time wondering about what will happen next before drifting to sleep. It was a peaceful rest for the group, unaware of the dangers waiting for them in the morning.

* * *

Frisk and company were crossing a series of wooden bridges when a series of blue circles spread across the surface. One appeared below Frisk, and Stitch pulled them away seconds before the circles erupted into a field of energy spears. Undyne stepped out of the shadows on a lower bridge and raised her spear in the air, causing more circles to appear under them. Ratchet quickly picked up a protesting Alice, and the four adults quickly leapt out of the field of newly formed spears. Claire quickly pulled out her Blazefire in gun mode and took running potshots whenever she could. While the bullets were stopped by her spear, they did serve to distract Undyne from forming more spears whenever she was in view of the fleeing group. Eventually Undyne roared and charged, ignoring the bullets in favor of creating more energy spears. Claire noticed that while her bullets were denting the armor, they weren't doing much. "Claire, we need your help! Me and Stitch can't fight carrying these two, and Gene can't clear a way through the spears on his own!" Claire turned to see walls of spears blocking the group, Gene trying to cut a path through but wasn't making much progress. With a flick of the wrist, Claire shifted her Blazefire to sword mode and began hacking at the spears with Gene. With Gene's fluid swings and Claire's rough strikes, they just barely opened a path through the spears that the group could run through. Whenever a spear came close, it was either dodged or hacked apart. Eventually the group cleared Undyne's field of view, only to hit a dead end. A loud clunk echoed behind them, and the group turned to see Undyne, armor riddled with dents from Claire's bullets and clenching her spear in rage. Ratchet set Alice down and raised his metal arm in time to block Undyne's sudden spear charge in a flash of green SOUL energy. Undyne leapt back and raised her spear, and suddenly several spears impacted the wood between Undyne and the group. With a sudden rumble, the half that the group were on started to collapse. Horrified, Ratchet turned to see Alice plummet from being unbalanced and leapt off the platform, the rest following suit due to the platform's collapse. Ratchet quickly grabbed Alice and wrapped himself around her, shielding her from the eventual impact. Moments after, Ratchet crashed into something hard and blacked out on impact.

* * *

"…chet…ke…u! …atchet…ake…p! Ratchet, wake up!" Feeling someone shaking him, Ratchet awoke to find Alice in tears hugging him while Patchwork looked genuinely relieved to see him ok. Feeling something on his head he felt upward to find bandages. He sat up, only to feel a sudden pain in his back. "What…what happened?" Ratchet said annoyed. "Well first of all the Freaky Fish Girl sliced off half the bridge, I managed to keep Frisk somewhat safe, though they fainted soon after landing. As for Gene and Claire, they're fine. Gene was very agile and managed to keep himself and Claire safe with only minor injuries. Frisk...well, like I said they fainted, and there was no damage to myself. You, however, basically landed rather hard on your back, which normally you could shrug off, but what caused your head wound was this." Patchwork said in doctor mode before holding up a plank of wood. "Basically a few planks of the bridge served as your impromptu landing spot/pillow." Stitch was cut off from explaining further when Alice started lightly hitting Ratchet. "You idiot! Why would you do that when you know I could have handled the impact!" Alice yelled through her tears. Ratchet smiled sadly before slowly enveloping her in a hug, wincing as he moved. "Because what kind of parent would I be if I let you get hurt when I could do something, even if I know you can take it. Besides, I promised I would make sure we all make it out of here safely." He said, letting Alice cry herself to exhaustion in his arms, his soul shining a dark blue for some time before continuing to cycle between SOUL colors.

Claire, Gene, and Stitch smiled at the scene before Claire asked "So what are we going to do with Frisk?" "Leave them. Right now they are seeing memories of a past that is not their own. Besides, we need to give Ratchet's head and back time to heal enough that it doesn't hurt to move." Stitch responded. "What do you mean by memories of a past other than their's?" Gene asked confusedly. Stitch sighed and said "Frisk is very unique. Their SOUL trait is DETERMINATION, which is a very rare SOUL trait. Only one other fallen child had that, the first child, Chara. Chara died here, but his soul lingered, a quality inherent in beings with a strong sense of will. Eventually, Frisk appeared, and the remnants of Chara's soul bonded with Frisk's. Right now, Frisk is reliving fragments of Chara's memories."

Claire and Gene could only stare at Stitch before Claire summed up their thoughts in a flat "What?" Stitch smiled at them and said "It is exactly as I just said. Frisk houses the remains of Chara's soul and is reliving his memories." Claire and Gene continued staring before Claire threw up her arms and said "I am done. Clearly I am stuck in the place that sanity goes to die. Any more bombs to drop on me? 'Cause at this point I honestly don't think things could get any weirder." Stitch wisely decided not to bring up their eventual fights with Photoshop Flowey and, potentially, the God of Hyperdeath Asriel. "Listen I know things have been vastly different from what you are used to…" "Used to!? You think I'm used to this! Let me tell you, about a few weeks ago I was having to deal with terrorists, a few weeks ago I didn't believe I would potentially have mutant food trying to attack me, a few weeks ago I would have laughed at the notion of monsters and such, but now? I just can't even…" Claire trailed off as she sat on a rock holding her hands to her head while she tried to process everything. Ratchet, Alice, and Stitch nervously stared at one another while Gene gave out a slight sigh and looked at Stitch, giving him a nod before standing up. "Miss Claire, I understand what you are going through. A few weeks ago I was working as bodyguard to the Chinese UN delegate trying to regain my family's honor." she began, her words reaching Claire enough that she looked up at Gene. "And now, the proof of alternate realities, the things I have seen over the short time I have spent in this group, it has been rather…as you would say, eye opening? Though nevertheless, I think that if it hadn't been for this, I wouldn't have been able to make so much progress in restoring my family's honor. lt is thanks to some suggestions and funding from Mr. Clank and Dr. Patchwork that my family is starting to return to a life without hateful glares, and it all happened because I have persevered in the face of everything, and I will continue to persevere here and now, so that one day I can see my family again, head held high and say 'Look at me, and see how much I have done in order to help us'." At the end of her speech Gene held her fist over her heart, her SOUL shining a bright purple before returning to its constant cycling. Claire was shocked, before admiration sparked within her and she stood up, patting Gene on the shoulder. "Thanks Gene, I needed that."

It was at this point however that Frisk was starting to sit up from their trip through Chara's memories. It was then that they came to realize that the group of people were in the middle of a heartwarming moment. Quietly they turned and tugged at Stitch's coat. When Frisk managed to get the attention of the doctor they signed out [What happened?] Stitch guessed that Frisk was asking what was going on and said "Oh, nothing much, just a simple heartwarming moment between two people, though I hope this doesn't have any long term effects on them, heaven knows that there is more than enough shipping going on right now." he said with a small sweatdrop. Smiling, though confused at Stitch's comment, Frisk and Stitch started to walk toward the right as the rest of the group cleaned themselves up, Ratchet getting up with a slight wince. The walk to the right had the group slowly but surely enter a watery area filled with garbage. On one side Alice found a strange cooler next to a heap of garbage. However, what surprised the group most was the lack of the typical landfill smell that made it so nobody without a proper reason would go near it. They guessed it was due to the large amount of water running through the area, or something. Either way Alice found some space food (AKA freeze dried ice cream) and they also passed a dummy which Frisk and Alice waved to nonchalantly, Ratchet and Stitch watched carefully, and Gene and Claire outright ignored. At least they would be out of this dump before they started to actually smell the garbage. However, before they could completely leave, a sharp shrill voice called out "HEY! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!" Suddenly, the dummy flew past Claire and Gene's head and landed in front of Alice and Frisk. "YOU THINK YOU COULD JUST IGNORE ME?! WELL, YOU GOT ANOTHER THING COMING FROM THIS DUMMY!"

* * *

Ratchet simply stared before commenting "Well, you are quite the mad dummy." Turning to the group and, ignoring the Mad Dummy's continued screaming, said "Claire, Gene, help Frisk out with this and make sure they don't get hurt." At the outcries of Claire and Gene, he simply responded "Me and Stitch aren't going to handle every little thing here, besides, I am still sore from earlier. It would also do the two of you good to at least participate in combat sometime. In any likelihood it will be a godsend for you to be used to combating monsters, and don't worry Frisk, all they will do is make sure you are not hurt. They won't attack." Frisk, at first worried of Claire and Gene helping them and killing the Mad Dummy, now calmed down and stepped forward to face the Mad Dummy, Claire and Gene reluctantly a step behind, Claire holding Blazefire in gun mode and Gene resting her hand on Chikage's hilt.

The Mad Dummy stared at the trio before focusing on Frisk. "YOU! I WILL MAKE YOU PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO MY COUSIN!" At Frisk's look of confusion, the Mad Dummy said "You don't even remember what you did? HOW DARE YOU! My cousin used to live in the dummy in the ruins, but then you came along. When you started 'talking' to them, they thought they would have a nice chat. But the things you 'SAID' to them. It was horrible…Horrible…HORRIBLE! YOU SPOOKED THEM RIGHT OUT OF THEIR DUMMY! And now…I'M GOING TO SCARE YOUR SOUL, AND THE SOULS OF YOUR FRIENDS, RIGHT OUT OF YOUR BODIES!"

As if in response to his words, several miniature dummies appeared and fired bursts of magical energy at the three. Frisk immediately began moving around, evading the slight homing projectiles. Claire shifted Blazefire to sword mode while Gene drew Chikage. Both swung to stop the attacks, only for the energy blasts to phase through and hit them, causing both of their life bars to suddenly appear and drop by one point. Ratchet face-palmed as he watched them continue to fail at blocking the dummies' attacks, neither having noticed their dropping health bars, while Frisk continued to dodge. "For the love of…Claire, Gene, neither of you have the skill to use SOUL magic to shield yourselves without an outside influence! Stop trying to block already and just DOOOOOODGE!" Ratchet shouted, the last word being in his best impersonation of DBZ Abridged Piccolo. The two glared at him for saying that, but promptly sheathed their weapons and joined Frisk in dodging the attacks. Eventually Claire dodged an energy blast that promptly hit the Mad Dummy, breaking him apart. The other dummies immediately stopped attacking and turned to the torn-apart dummy while Frisk looked in horror, thinking the Mad Dummy had died. Suddenly the dummy parts flew back together. "IDIOTS! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HIT THEM, NOT ME! NOW GET BACK IN THERE YOU DUMMIES!" the Mad Dummy shouted. The dummies nod and continue firing at the three humans.

Again Frisk, Claire, and Gene continued to dodge, and this time Frisk dodged a magic blast that went on to hit the Mad Dummy. When he reformed again, he turned to the dummies surrounding them. "HEY! Dummies, Dummies, DUMMIES! Didn't I just say NOT to hit me? Well guess what? You are all fired, Fired, FIRED! YOU ARE ALL BEING REPLACED!" When the Mad Dummy said that, the dummies disappeared, only to be replaced by mechanical doppelgangers. "HAHA! Let's see how you handle my DUMMY-BOTS! DUMMY-BOTS, ATTACK!"

This time, the now-named dummy-bots fired missiles with large red dots on them. These missiles tracked a lot longer than the magic blasts, but now Claire and Gene could actually fight back. Gene drew Chikage with a slice of her thumb to make it bleed, and the sudden extension of the blade by the red liquid let her split several missiles coming towards her. Claire shifted Blazefire back to gun mode and shot down any missiles heading towards her. Frisk meanwhile was showing off pro-dodging skills, the missiles grazing past them and even rolling or flipping under and over the missiles. They simply couldn't touch the fallen child. Claire noticed that one of the missiles Frisk dodged kept going straight instead of turning and that the red dot on it was fully white. "Guys! Keep an eye on the red spot! When it turns white the missiles stop tracking! We need to maneuver them right to keep winning!" Gene saluted before returning to striking down the missiles with her transformed katana, now also using the back of Chikage to slap them towards the now moving dummy whenever she saw one with a white dot, and Frisk reluctantly nodded in agreement, still hoping things could be solved without violence. This resulted in many destroyed dummy-bots due to errant missiles that the trio were unable to redirect at the Mad Dummy.

Ratchet smiled at Claire having figured out the pattern for the missiles before throwing up a green see-through barrier that stopped some of the missiles that had been heading towards him, Stitch, and Alice in a brilliant explosion. Angry at this development, the Mad Dummy began to fume even harder as the dust from most of the dummy-bot's destruction settled. Patchwork simply sighed as he started to walk into the fight, meanwhile the Mad Dummy started to turn red with anger. "Curses! You guys are worse than the other guys, go, leave, you are all Fired!" The Mad Dummy angrily yelled. Silently, the bots slowly left the fight. "Fine, I don't need anybody, I have Knives!' The Mad Dummy said menacingly as a knife floated out from somewhere on the Mad Dummy as he fumed, worrying Frisk, Claire, and Gene as they backed away slowly, while Patchwork walked slowly forward. "Now, Die!" The Dummy said as he threw the knife, only for Stitch to come in front of him and catch the knife with one hand. Claire and Gene put their weapons away, sensing the fight was over now, and Gene stumbled slightly as Chikage's drain hit her, though she immediately recovered.

"Ohh what a pleasant little knife you got there, it almost seems brand new, it would really be shame if," a loud snap echoed through the dump, "whoops, looks like I snapped it in two" Stitch said as he dropped the broken knife to the floor. The Mad Dummy began sweating bullets more and more as the doctor assumed his more demonic persona. "Now, why don't you just run along back to wherever you're from, ok?" Stitch said. The Made Dummy flinched at Stitch's menacing aura before putting on a tough act. "Fine. I'm leaving, but just so you guys know, it was my choice to leave, and nothing else!" The Dummy yelled rather nervously, as he didn't want them to know that he just lost his last and only knife. Before he could leave, however, several raindrops landed on his head and somehow damaged him. "What the hell?! Acid rain!? Ugh, screw this! I'm outta here!" he shrieked out as he comically exited stage right. Slowly floating down through the cavern roof, the crying ghost Napstablook appeared before the group. "Aww, did I interrupt? Ohh nooo. You guys were friends, and I chased him away. Ohh noooooooooooo." he moaned as he slowly faded away, leaving a confused group of humans.

"Well, that was weird. Shall we get out of here before something else attacks us?" Claire asked with a sigh as she started walking down the watery path, keeping a nervous eye out for any other haunted furniture coming out and hindering their path...again. Yet, as they were passing by a pile of garbage a...panda appeared at the top and dropped down towards the group? "What the heck? Hey, give that back!" Alice cried as the panda landed on her, accidentally grabbing the ribbon tied in her hair and ran around the side of one of the garbage piles. Stitch and Ratchet slipped into parent mode and began chasing after the panda. "Get back here and return that ribbon! I don't care if you're an endangered species, I'm going to have a new rug for my lab if you don't do what I say!" Ratchet yelled, drawing his odachi while Stitch merely pulled one of his scalpels out, followed shortly by Alice with her hammer. The three ran around the corner to see the panda...jumping up to the window of a rental shop?

"What the?" Ratchet stopped running at seeing the silhouette of a man reaching through the window's opening to scratch the panda's ears. Alice ran into Ratchet's back while Stitch stopped himself. "Well hello there, looks like you all could use some help." the man said through the window, Claire and Gene joining the trio. "And how exactly can you help us mister…?" Claire asked, suspicious that this man seemed to not fit in with the area. "Please, call me Pops, and the way I see it, we can help each other out. I have a lot of stuff here since I changed locations, but I haven't had a single customer. So, here is my deal to you all. You guys get something you can use, and I get to get rid of some stock I don't need." "That sounds agreeable. How much do you wish us to pay?" Gene asked. The man laughed. "Pay? I think you are mistaken. I don't need money, trust me. However, like I said, business here is boring. My last location, I had this group that put on an entertaining show whenever they needed something **(1)**. So I will give you the same deal I gave them. Show me something I'll enjoy, and I will give you something good, free of charge." the man said, leaning back from the window. Stitch smiled as he turned to Alice and Ratchet, and using a well known anime trope, the instant costume change, he suddenly transformed into a blue shirted, fedora wearing blues brother impersonator, or at least that is what Claire and Gene thought, while Frisk looked confused at the sudden outfit change. Using the same trope as well, Ratchet and Alice were suddenly wearing similar outfits, though Ratchet was wearing a red undershirt with a mafia don scarf around his neck, and Alice was wearing a female version of what the two guys were wearing. Ratchet then snapped his fingers, and through the use of another anime trope, the instant scenery change, the three appeared on an unlit stage before three spotlights shone down on them.

"Well then, let's get it on, this is a song for bashing power out of a flower! And a-one and a-two, and a-one, two, three, four." Ratchet said in a sing-song tone with a grin as suddenly the backdrop changed and a couple of pandas began to blow on trumpets while Ratchet started to sing out a long A note with the other two joining in in a round style. And then, as the trio let out a fourth note all together, they burst into song.

"Hey there Pops, Pops give us a rental please. Hey there Pops, give us a t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-trigger we can squeeze, squeeze, rental please! To stop a, a, a homicidal flower that wants all our souls for power. Come on, give us something awesome for the job, POOOOPS !" The three sang in some weird jazzy, funky sounding beat, and in the audience Aaron, Siren, and, strangely enough, Napstablook, clapped and cheered them on, while Frisk whistled. Meanwhile, Gene and Claire were just trying to figure out what was happening. "How did they...why did they...just how?!" Claire stuttered out. "You know what, I'm not even going to question it anymore." Gene deadpanned, as she was now becoming used to all this insanity. "Well then, what did you think? Pretty good huh?" Alice asked Pops with a big grin, which was shared by the two mad scientists. "Well, you sounded a little rusty, but overall I have to say that was incredibly entertaining, and it reminds me of my last set of customers, so something like that deserves an extra special rental." Pops said as suddenly a shadow slipped through the window opening and fell before the group. Gene and Claire were in shock at the item that had appeared while Ratchet, Stitch, and Alice had stars in their eyes. "How the heck did that thing even fit?!" Claire shouted incredulously.

* * *

 **8-bit Thief: And that's a wrap! Again, we are so sorry this came out so late, but hopefully a lack of scheduling will help us get the next chapter out faster. On to the references!**

 **(1) Pops is the author avatar from the series Nerima Daikon Brothers. Also, that song and dance number is the rental song from the same series. If you want to see it, look it up on youtube and superimpose our characters in, as we are not skilled enough to transcribe it without losing quite a bit.**

 **Both: We will be seeing you in the next chapter! JA NE!**


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